Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
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Top comments
Sinamoi 18
Ol' Man Jenkins is not pleased with all these whippersnappers on his lawn.
BigMatt803 18
you don't deserve a gun being pointed at you but you shouldn't run on someone's private property either
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Comments (97)
cinnamondemon 8
Damn those Dinkleburgs!
raphael1123 13
At least it got you runnin'
Ray_of_midnight 23
If you're not from the United States, or from the urbanized parts of the U.S. where guns are tightly regulated like Mass., NY, or NJ, welcome to the rest of America. O.o In places where the quickest police response is 20-30 minutes or more, people tend to be a little more self-sufficient when it comes to protecting their person and their property.
U_GotitDude 18
Stay off of his property then
brittanyann2013 12
YDI... I would've done the same if I seen a stranger running across my land. And btw your user name is very disrespectful.
sgtcxelite 11
I swear if you didn't make some kind of Walking Dead joke I will reach through this screen and punch you in the face.
liv2ski97 4
OP, your username says it all.
cmac86 24
Typically those are either moonshiners or meth heads. Or something illegal.
EsOSiQueEs 14
Or farmers who don't want people on their private property?? Which is more likely?
cobalttanker 14
Sweet!! Lol
The_F3rris 11
Welcome to the country! My house is the same way, guns at the ready. Lots of weirdos try to rip off your house out in the country where no one will see or catch them. If you lived in the middle of nowhere youd understand.