Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
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Top comments
Sinamoi 18
Ol' Man Jenkins is not pleased with all these whippersnappers on his lawn.
BigMatt803 18
you don't deserve a gun being pointed at you but you shouldn't run on someone's private property either
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Comments (97)
Major_General 10
Try not trespassing instead.
MSCCG 16
That's why I always jog with my gun. Mexican standoffs are fun!
myklknife 6
Here in Texas you might not have been given a warning. Jog in public country sides not private land.
ThomE_fml 3
Amen to that. I've had guns pulled on me in Tx. Even when I've called beforehand and was expected. I used to install auto glass, so I have done mobile jobs out in the boonies. Lot of distrustful people.
Strangemixie 8
Why were you jogging on someone's property?
lilhellian 27
I was waiting for someone to comment on that lol...
Delta2Almanac 7
Was it Clint Eastwood??
Homer1975 14
it's dangers
briteone 2
That's what people make sidewalks for
m4nduh 7
Along the countryside. Yeah, alrighty then. -_-
NonSenser 6
should have shouted back :"shut the hell up" and taken your discovery to the next level.
BookWorm13 3
If you're calling the walking dead a crappy tv show you sir deserved it