Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
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Top comments
Sinamoi 18
Ol' Man Jenkins is not pleased with all these whippersnappers on his lawn.
BigMatt803 18
you don't deserve a gun being pointed at you but you shouldn't run on someone's private property either
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Comments (97)
Why_Not31 12
You've never had that happen to you? Hey, at least he didn't have a pack of hunting dogs. Hell, I've been chased by this one dog pack and an old dude with a rifle more times than I can recall clearly. Then again, I do live out in the boonies, and I must admit, after the first time, I was kinda doing it just for kicks. And he does have 'no trespassing signs.' I just mess with him cuz he's an old sourpuss, and I think he secretly enjoys the chase, cuz he gets all puffed up whenever we cross in town, He's not the only dude with a rifle who's leveled one at me, just the most memorable, what with the dogs and the distance he'll chase. Most people just have to protect themselves out here. I mean, the police take a good 30-40 minutes just to get this far out, toting rifles and whatnot is our first line of defense. I mean, everyone's got a couple of rifles racked up, and a bunch of other stuff that's a little less conventional. Like the dogs and knives and some odd munitions and various traps. Just don't knowingly trespass or rile anybody, and you should be fine.
gman90210 18
Well now ya know not to trespass next time how is this thing telling me anti flood protection with only this one comment
Michellec9982 18
Were you in Texas?
Toramichelle 4
No shit I spent half my child hood running through the woods and getting chased by people like that
tabletoplady 11
Were you, by any chance, running on Clint Eastwood's property?
ajh557 22
Lol I learned the same thing but instead of a rifle it was a pit bull... It was probably a "farmer" and I'd avoid that area
fringy 10
Fantastic....I picture him toothless and wearing dungarees!
krs7g4 8
You were running in the 'countryside' and didn't think anyone owned the land you were on? You're a dumbass. ******* city people.
IHateHypocrites 4
Ignore the idiots blaiming you without knowing the whole story. I DID grow up in the middle of nowheresville (Is a 1 mile dirt road walk to the school bus stop then 27 mile drive to my school enough "country" for those of you calling her a city slicker?) There are A LOT of dirt roads that are actually private property to a farm but not fenced off or posted. People can be crazy sometimes. My best friend's uncle flipped out on me for "being on his property" The situation? I was walking along the RR to her house, and he later said he drove by and saw me walking "on his property" because I was walking on the shoulder of the road, about 18 inches from the pavement. There's also a local woodsy park here that has many trails, and 2 of them apparently cross right into private property. Signs were only recently posted because there was no way for years to know that it wasn't park property. Know the whole story before you go blaiming her or not -.- She may have been tresspassing, but you generally go jogging along roads or trails, not random driveways and fields.
IHateHypocrites 4
appologies if the OP is a "him" can't read the tiny writing on this small screen to see the name.