Today, I discovered an open wound right above my penis. I can’t put a Bandaid on it because the hair down there repels it. There’s something repulsive about seeing something like that on your own body, especially when you just want to jerk off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got an ingrown hair. It wouldn’t be so bad, if it were anywhere other than my penis. FML
Today, I realized that my lack of body hygiene reached a new high when I discovered a pimple growing on my penis, which I now know is genital acne. It hurts to sit down or touch my penis in any way. The worst part is that I am only thirteen. FML
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Today, I was waxing my legs and somehow dropped an enormous dollop of hot wax on my naked crotch. I refused to yank it off, but still had to cut it off with scissors. So now I have a huge patch of pubic hair way shorter than the rest of it. It looks a right mess FML
Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML
Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML
Today, I ran a hand down my freshly shaven leg to appreciate the smoothness, only to come up with a hand covered in blood. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
Today, I'm on my honeymoon. My husband and I cannot consummate our marriage, because his penis has an open wound due to… vigorous masturbation. FML
Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang. I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML
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Top comments
DrBandaid 3
Please get checked for syphilis, which can cause a painless wound, and if left untreated leads to rash over whole body, then eventually insanity.
Lffayen 4
I know it's generally awkward, but keeping the wound clean is top priority. shave the area and clean and bandage, and as was already said, go get checked for stds. would also recommend getting checked for infections or other bacterial sources.
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Comments (7)
DrBandaid 3
Please get checked for syphilis, which can cause a painless wound, and if left untreated leads to rash over whole body, then eventually insanity.
Lffayen 4
I know it's generally awkward, but keeping the wound clean is top priority. shave the area and clean and bandage, and as was already said, go get checked for stds. would also recommend getting checked for infections or other bacterial sources.
Gubbon 17
uhm. Shave...?