Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got into a fight with my roommate's girlfriend's best friend. A few hours later, they had me evicted. FML
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML
Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML
Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML
Today, I moved in with an older gentleman renting out a room. Tonight, he had a domestic dispute with his girlfriend, who threw a lawn chair at my car. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML
Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML
Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
I guess you ruined her Feng Shui.
gonzaval 0
you should ask her/him before doing something like that.
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Comments (145)
Doortje 30
I guess you ruined her Feng Shui.
541MedfazWcM 0
agreed lol :)
sourgirl101 29
Doortje, your comment made me laugh because I know people that will go nuts if things don't follow the Feng Shui rules. I personally like using my window as part of my headboard. But it's a no-no according to them. (:
KiddNYC1O 22
**** yo' couch.
Hanimon 0
Find him/her a nice mental hospital and the problem is solved.
ubetrwatchBN 5
Now, when OP says, "rearranged the furniture," that could be open to interpretation. If my roommate decided to make room for his couch in front of the tv by moving mine onto the front lawn, I might go apeshit, too.
ZendayaForever 0
Lol.
VladAlex 0
xD
shelbyk 0
that's too funny:)
anonymous595 0
haha sos ur moustach haha>,<
gonzaval 0
you should ask her/him before doing something like that.
LolFYLS 0
omg I thought you were a guy wearing a wig till I saw your profile.... scary
SirEBC 7
OMG, 65, I thought you were an idiot who is either too stupid to compartmentalize the intellectually-challenging process of posting a picture, or unwilling to do so in fear of what other insecure assholes might say about it. Oh, wait...you are.
sparta98 4
@74 You've got no room to talk about stupid. If you'd paid attention in school, you would know that you aren't allowed to switch tenses in the middle of a sentence.
SirEBC 7
Then please, 90, do me a favor and provided the correct form of my sentence, since I will be too dumb to not know how to change tenses in the past.
VeeVengeance 0
SHUT UP
optimusprime0069 8
you sir take this to hardcore
swaggintothamax 0
106 good call. 74 impressive. bong or blunt?
lifeisbutadream3 0
dude... not cool. Be kind.
LiznessMonster 9
Maybe you should consider moving? Or buying a stun gun.
mewtinater 0
or a shot gun
spearhead 5
^win
Hunter148Cassie 0
I have to agree 23 is a win! hahahaha
CommonSenseKarma 17
Actually, 23 is not necessarily a win, but rather expressing the utmost common sense and, in the US, expressing his/her right to bear arms, like all free peoples should. Unless, that is, you're in California. Good luck getting a gun permit here.
Ikura 4
Too bad you don't live in a state like Oregon where you can just take their ass down if they start threatening you. You don't even have to try to retreat.
MushyLuvsU 0
Where the hell in Oregon are you talking about... o.o...
Ikura 4
Everywhere? I don't know what the laws exactly say, but you don't have to try to retreat before you can defend yourself, even if it's with deadly force. (of course use of deadly force is only allowed in extreme cases). Oregon has looser self-defense laws then most states.
ILoveEggnog 7
I believe that you're referring to the Castle law, and it varies from state to state.
MushyLuvsU 0
GTFO!! Holy hell... I would nerd-fight with her if she did that!
evildeadfan420 0
Nerd-fighting - piss off a nerd bad enough or back them into a corner and they strangle you with the cord of a piece of electronic equipment...if the attacker is dumb enough, a wireless controller is recommended
Kua_Mei 0
At my school, we stab each other with pencils and hit each other with Geometry textbooks. Is strangulation by (accessory of) electronic device what they do in high school?
2hoesNaBagel 0
get em
Epikouros 32
In grade school, I once stabbed my annoying cousin with the pointy leg of a thumbscrew compass...
yuggi1 11
People get so worked up over stupid stuff, seriously, the furnishers? I would sell all of mine and sleep in blankets if it meant I'd get a hefty sum of cash.
yuggi1 11
furniture*
Mister_Grinch 0
Don't **** with another person's furniture. Lesson learned?
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Do we know for sure that the OP was ******* with the roommates furniture and not moving her own furniture around? The OP could own all the furniture in the common areas or could have just been rearranging where her pieces of furniture sat a bit. The OPs roommate really could just be nuts.
sara8866 8
Um you need to move when your lease is up.....
MissBunny25 0
roid rage!! lol :)
FMLPanda89 0
this not a laughing matter. people could have really gotten ... hahaha ok nvm
Deservesit22 1
Rawr you too And ok major rage
ktbolt21 0
u r the hottest girl ive ever seen haha
TaTaTanyaHo 5
69 that picture is of Justin Bebier, a boy.
oxAshleAxo 8
*sigh* read the picture 92.
shad93 3
no no no...it's a girl
ConfusionsLoveMe 0
It's a guy. In my opinion, I find that demotivational poster completely unfunny. But, that's just an opion :?)
grumpypanda117 0
I'm pretty sure 92 was referring to missbunny
lolololwut 0
u fail lmao