Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
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Top comments
Sinamoi 18
Ol' Man Jenkins is not pleased with all these whippersnappers on his lawn.
BigMatt803 18
you don't deserve a gun being pointed at you but you shouldn't run on someone's private property either
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Comments (97)
aujini 4
If you wanted to run on his land, you should have just gone up and knocked on the door to ask first. In the country most people's land is their livelihood, and they take it pretty seriously when strangers come on to it unannounced.. Also to the commenter who asked about whether he also shoots every rabbit or deer who comes on his property? Yeah we do that, usually with a BB/pellet gun so it doesn't kill them, and we keep cats and dogs to scare them off, but when they're destroying your crops, or your land, or attracting coyotes and other predators, they stop being so cute and innocent.
EsOSiQueEs 14
Who's the dumbass that gave this a thumbs down? Do they not understand that if a farmer can't get any and every bit of their crops, they don't make as much money, so if it means shooting some rabbits it's not a big deal.
SiriusBlack97 17
Holy Christ, I honestly didn't think that happened I'm real life.
heinous966 15
Don't worry OP. happens to me more often than it should. After all, movies are based off of some form of reality, correct?
tj4234 36
come to the UK, we have no trespassing laws here. If someones garden gate is open you can run right through lol. Although tbh that's a bit taboo...
isamisis 9
You better stay out of the 'cement-pond'!
10showgirl 16
Welcome to the south
10showgirl 16
I live in Louisiana and this is normal. We have to defend ourselves because the police don't show up until an hour later. No joke. Even when my house was broken into, they took an hour to show up.
wtfmeesh 4
First of all I don't like the name you have "fuxkin hicks" it isn't nice and the people who owned the land have every right to shove a gun on your face stay off other peoples property dumb ass, the world doesn't belong to you.
Janelley3 4
You're obviously a cidiot. (City Idiot)
akaiberry 15
Did this happpen before or after he used his cane to beat the local children?