Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping I'd finally get some action. I got a high five. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML
Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML
Today, I went on what I thought was my fifth date with a guy. We finally got intimate and it was amazing. As soon as it was over, he said : "Sorry babe, I should get going. I have a date tomorrow and I'd hate to be tired for it." FML
Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML
Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML
Today, I got further with a guy than I've ever before. By that, I mean I got his phone number. FML
Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML
Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML
Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML
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Top comments
flockz 20
a high five where her hand was the ****** and his hand was his dick.
fthku 13
$50 per session is my type of girl.
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Comments (147)
alexsmokesdro91 0
sucks for youu.
uglyyness 0
a high five is physically done too! ;)
ImmortalKratos 0
he's gay. or just doesnt know how easy you are. don't worry he'll get there probably.....maybe....it's probably best you make the first move
yourshootingstar 4
wow action on the first date?! why not go find someone at the bar :P
bennetts211 2
Hey, a high five is definitely something to be proud of!
yourshootingstar 4
wow I derped hard lol for some reason o read first.
ImmortalKratos 0
29 you look vaguely familiar.....hmmm have you ever done ****?
RyanMacVey 17
...
simply_improper 1
what kind of moron gives a chick a high five on a date? OP you need to date a better class of men. ydi
ImmortalKratos 0
*I meant 30. the numbers changed 0.o
alexsmokesdro91 0
my point exactly.
yourshootingstar 4
34 - no **** for me
supermankisses 1
Why waste time with dates if that's all you were expecting..
iEatGuppies 0
third date? this makes you sound like a *****. js... watch me get like 50 thumbs down.
sydmior 10
No, I think the guy really likes OP. Because there's more to life than just more life.
chiddy_bang71 0
is that legendary anchorman Ron burgundy? you stay classy San diego. (Aka a whales ******)
alexsmokesdro91 0
why yes, the one and only,
dolphincheddar 10
you know, girls like you who want action that badly, all you have to do is act like a total ***** and theyll be like oh hey she wants sex. it's not hard (no pun intended) you must be very bad at showing him you want something. sucks for you, but if you want something it really should suck for him instead, if you catch my load. oops I mean drift
stro88 6
he could be realizing he's gay? but that's more of a good guy cuz hes respecting you without getting crazy about the bearded clam.
dolphincheddar 10
138 is correct. although the bearded clam has now become a delicacy in most parts of America, Europe, and Atlantis. this man can control his hunger. he is simple trying to be a freindly young gentleman, that or he likes sea cucumbers shoved up his sewer pipe.
Brit1392 0
why not??
Belovan 2
What were you expecting, exactly?
smurfsarwales 9
haha win^^
bennetts211 2
Sex. Intercourse. Vaginal stimulation.
flockz 20
a high five where her hand was the ****** and his hand was his dick.
Truth_Nazi 0
On the 3rd Date? That's my Kind of Girl
maskedman 9
On the first date is my type of girl.
fthku 13
$50 per session is my type of girl.
garrettsgirl 0
at least you got something haha
humzizzl3 0
hahah on the first day is my kind of girl as well
jewfro311 0
There's nothing wrong with going slow, but maybe that's too slow...
volley4eva1698 0
yeah damn gurl slow doowwnn! hahaha
m3gtrboy 0
that's still an action :P
NomOnShroomz 14
Kinky!
lakaiskate 12
better then what I get
MrSassypants 34
5 if they gave one of those special handshakes... I think I'ma lose it! "Miss me high hit me low!"
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
but for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction... wait that doesn't make sense. ok whatever
FreshPairOfNikes 0
What kind of "action" were you expecting?
BaconDave 12
Handjobs
NomOnShroomz 14
Handshakes.
mismonroe 0
Fingerfun.
knights95 9
Playing patty cake
Athoritaahhh 0
hotdog through donut action
nerdness 2
why are you complaining? you finally got some action...
nixter5 18
doesn't seem all that bad to me. you shouldn't screw on the 3rd date anyway!
iloveHU15 6
yeah, always wait 'til the fourth! jk.
YoLauryn 0
Call a hooker then. :)
Bdubwv87 0
Hey
chiddy_bang71 0
87, don't flirt on fml.
chiddy_bang71 0
;) ohhbabbyyy!
vihan 0
how about you be my hooker? I have top $ for good service.
illegalsarcasm 3
Well, at least he considers you as one of the guys now.
mismonroe 0
Especially if boners is the one doing the high fiving