Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I left for my shop in the work truck at 6 a.m. I was still in the process of waking up with my windows down, on a semi-busy street, when BAM! a bird flew in the window into the cab. FML
Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML
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Top comments
Boweezee 0
Even dead animals deserve respect. YDI for being disrespectful, and obviously not as clever as you thought.
KwitIt 0
I'm surprised it didn't just smear dead bird all over your windshield. Gross. You got kinda lucky.
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Comments (123)
fretforyerlatte 0
lmfao @ 43, pre-edit.
diet_otaku 0
YDI for treating a dead animal like that. you're not going to get the plague if you pick it up and drop it in the grass. you don't have to dig a grave and sing a dirge, but don't treat it like a pile of its own shit. and as for roadkill, no i don't scrape it up and bury it, but i do try to avoid running over it again.
Talia070 0
I smell bullshit .
mattmag 0
Just pick it up and throw it somewhere. I have cats so I deal with dead birds all the time. They generally go over the fence to the foreclosed house behind us.
flippsizzle 0
ok, how the **** did that even happen?? Do your windshield wipers reach around your car or something? How does the bird get wiped from your windshield into your window??
HipsterDoofus 0
Crazy kids and your lack of physics.
burnhamt23 0
#43 whoa! #45 ok
theluckygirl28 8
ahaha 43 pre-edit is hilarious!! And IDK... I went with YDI on this one, because that's just mean. I'm assuming it was a small bird, so it's not that hard to take a plastic bag, pick it up, and put it in the garbage.
aquarius6 0
Duh if u didn't want to touch it u could have taken off really fast??
pleasetryagain 0
Is it that hard to grab a stick and shove it off if you were too lazy to grab a paper towel or plastic bag? If you're comfortable eating a burger, you should be able to deal with something that died of natural causes.