Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I left for my shop in the work truck at 6 a.m. I was still in the process of waking up with my windows down, on a semi-busy street, when BAM! a bird flew in the window into the cab. FML
Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML
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Top comments
Boweezee 0
Even dead animals deserve respect. YDI for being disrespectful, and obviously not as clever as you thought.
KwitIt 0
I'm surprised it didn't just smear dead bird all over your windshield. Gross. You got kinda lucky.
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Comments (123)
VivaLaDiva 0
why?
derriduh 0
Why would OP want to touch a dead bird? Would you?? They probably had nothing in their car to wash their hands off with. That's gross OP, FYL.
antar_fml 0
what sort of fml does this make ?
Guitarist45 0
huh?????? explain yourself, then learn to write
cr1sis 0
how does that work? theres no openings for it to go from your windshield to your lap
Compass 0
Were you driving when you "discovered" this bird? I can't see windshield wipers causing something small and meaty to fall in an open window while stationary. If you were driving, you're really slow at noticing things.
karina_said 0
the science doesnt make sense unless you were moving at a fast speed then made a turn...but then even the weight of it...ehh.. i call this bullshit
karina_said 0
people use dead birds for witch craft/voodoo :D hahaha maybe you should be careful
Wow467 0
31 I'm studying physics and if the wind wa to his window or a possible left turn could cause this, and a high speed wouldn't neccesarily cause a bounce, but I call bs cuz it's impossible with the speeds and wind involved
devvie 0
poor birdie