Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I left for my shop in the work truck at 6 a.m. I was still in the process of waking up with my windows down, on a semi-busy street, when BAM! a bird flew in the window into the cab. FML
Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML
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Top comments
Boweezee 0
Even dead animals deserve respect. YDI for being disrespectful, and obviously not as clever as you thought.
KwitIt 0
I'm surprised it didn't just smear dead bird all over your windshield. Gross. You got kinda lucky.
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Comments (123)
um_duh 0
This is bullshit. If you wipe something that is solid from your windshield it goes on the side of the car or If your lucky it drops down the side but gravity makes it impossible to wipe it into your car YDI for being a bullshit artist
tona01 16
if the car is moving, air is sucked into the car, taking everything with it( for the people who are going to make some idiotic comment about how air sucked in will not take trees and houses, i mean small things)
dmmd8686 0
These people who keep saying "treat dead animals with respect blah blah blah boo hoo" are silly...I wouldn't have wanted to handle that thing either. FYL for sure.
chux4w 0
Why would you use your hands to move a dead bird? You can never be too careful in this age of avian flu... Anyway, its not the OP's fault it was on his/her car. The bird could have just as easily landed in the road, where no one would notice it. Wipe it off and go about your day...just make sure your window is closed first.
Kyothine 0
Protip: saying "Thinking I was clever" is the fastest way to get a majority YDI vote.
rinnychan 2
FMLs with "Thinking I was clever" in them get an instant YDI.
STVader 0
16 is spot on. That's how most funerals go too. "How will I ever live with out you" well toughen up bitch, its the *you* that's dead, the *I* in the phrase can only think of the impact it has on its own life. But anyways, I call bullshit. This is clearly physically impossible. I am a physicist. Projectiles do not work that way, UNLESS you were going at high speeds. In which case, you are incredibly stupid. And how did that dead bird get there....unless you hit it at high speeds and it magically didn't bounce off...also doubtful.
gwoka 0
#23, 27 and 28 lol. You idiots. Are you serious?? Mites and avian flu from a bird on your windshield. Yep. You're about as smart as the guy who turned on the wipers and magically got a bird in his car. Better not eat pork; it's dead and there's swine flu, don't you know?
chakrabs 0
Wow, you've just defied physics!
crazygirl13_fml 0
How is that even possible??
dem54 0
for some reason i believe this cause it is too ****** up to make up ..