Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I left for my shop in the work truck at 6 a.m. I was still in the process of waking up with my windows down, on a semi-busy street, when BAM! a bird flew in the window into the cab. FML
Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML
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Top comments
Boweezee 0
Even dead animals deserve respect. YDI for being disrespectful, and obviously not as clever as you thought.
KwitIt 0
I'm surprised it didn't just smear dead bird all over your windshield. Gross. You got kinda lucky.
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Comments (123)
ninjaaninja 0
"If you're comfortable eating a burger, you should be able to deal with something that died of natural causes." Actually, in theory, this is completely untrue. You see, a hamburger holds no resemblance to its previously slaughtered state. So, please take your failed PETA logic somewhere else. kthnx. And, I too try to avoid rolling over roadkill; it's such a pain cleaning mushed guts and skin/fur/feather from the nooks on the car tires.
commenter2 0
haha i just actually laughed at that. thanks for your stupidness.
manda97 3
uh...common sense??
gwoka 0
#98 Just because it doesnt look like a whole cow does mean it aint a dead cow! And for the roadkill comment, I'm going to find your grave when you die and poop on it. And before you try being all smarmy again - I'm neither vegetarian or a peta activist. So go shove that up your preconcieved stereotypes!
KitteySniper 0
Well. . . this thread got out of hand. Anyways, I was expecting the post to say you smeared blood all over your windshield, that would have sucked even more.
Phobic_fml 14
funny :)
breedizzles 0
hahahahahahhahahahahaha that sucks XD
yumyumshisha 0
Eh, not really an FML. Just throw it out the window. I don't see how it would have gone through the driver's seat window though.
MrFranBrO 0
Wow so fake.. There's no way it would go in through your window when you turned on your windshield whipers. The only way it might of happened would be if you were driving at high speeds which you were clearly not doing.
Zapurdead 3
Well hang on there. If th bird was in the middle-bottom of the windsheild, the wipers probably carried them to one of the top corners of the windshield. If it fell straight down, some cars are slightly curved outwards on the sides, it could have fallen through the window, and onto his lap.
bloodrite 0
mmmm dinner is served lol