Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saved a baby bird from the site I work on. It was the runt and did not have any feathers and was neglected by the mother. I took care of it all day at work and planned on taking it to a wildlife reserve after work. Two minutes away from the reserve, we hit a pothole and I dropped it. It died. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, I tried to help a bird who had broken his wing. I walked straight into a door while looking down at him in my hands, and ended up all but breaking his other wing. FML
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, I tried to save a dying bird I found on the sidewalk. I got a parking ticket for $114 in front of the animal hospital. I later found out the bird died. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I saw a bird almost get run over in the middle of the road, so I stopped the traffic to go rescue it. It was an Adidas slide. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML
Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML
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Top comments
anorexicbarbie 8
Well at least you tried to help it.
mk58 31
That's how it thanks you. Tsk tsk. This generation of birds are disrespectful.
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Comments (111)
anorexicbarbie 8
Well at least you tried to help it.
fanceh 10
get pooped on! :)
Iamnotmyself 17
He was mad you ruined its suicide attempt.
DeepDownThere 3
Tried being the key word.
7mood75 7
Don't you know about the bird?
theaws0m3guy 4
A-b-b-bird bird bird. The bird is the word!
unluckiestperson_fml 14
Hmmm, I was aware that everyone had heard...
flockz 20
sounds like an angry bird.
Jakaroo 0
man,that guy just got punked by a bird!
dolphincheddar 10
why do so many FMLs involve shit lately? it's like we are going through a shitocolypse
flockz 20
i know if i hear "well that sounds like a shitty situation" one more time.... i just might shit myself.
urdirtyolduncle 15
wow, 45, that would be a shitty situation, too! shitty situations
wordnerd42 0
You didn't save my life; you ruined my death!! Now all the superheros like OP will have to go into hiding..
extrovertical 0
it was aware of your intentions
daisyloo 7
It's the thought that counts:)
bubble25_fml 5
why do birds suddenly appear every time that we're near?
flockz 20
56- (soils trousers) you... *******... asshole.
justanothagirl 0
shit happens
fmlwmty 0
well that could be a good thing... do you have a poop fetish?
cfalen 0
op have you ever heard if angry birds?...
Drigr 9
62- incredibles reference?
changetheworld 0
Well I admire your compassion for animals.
wordnerd42 0
109 - He'll yes! I'm happy the reference was picked up! xD
wordnerd42 0
^Lol, autocorrect failure..
Mr_Saikaly 35
well you did what you were supposed to do, so well done :)
dre_bro11 12
Flockz, don't forget to write an FML about it...
zakkbeckett 0
that was a shitty situation
alyssaroxs 4
Teehee
sockmunky 3
this is why i hate some birds
Newboyz00185 0
Constipation Don't underestimate it.
goaliemkl123 8
really?? you dont like birds Bc you once tried to help one and it dumped on u then flew off. is this a common occurrence?????
sockmunky 3
^^ wow smartass maybe this is an example of why i don't like birds
PushMyButtons 5
you scared him shitless
knights95 9
pwned*
mk58 31
That's how it thanks you. Tsk tsk. This generation of birds are disrespectful.
wordnerd42 0
I know, birds these days.. back in the old days, the worst they'd do is window kamikaze, now they're learning new tricks!
Dr_Jalepenos 0
"constipation" it can kill.
baddud300 6
Just be happy it wasn't one of those black bomb birds.
imosim 0
angry birds reference anyone?
7mood75 7
apparently not..
WOGBRO 6
Very happy
DelilahLoyla 1
it just had gas
jacob12311 4
I like your picture
kris2335 0
GOLD STAR FOR TRYING(:
NomOnShroomz 14
But no cookie... those are all mine...
volley4eva1698 0
I got 99 cookies, cuz a bitch ate one
wolflover44 5
Damn it! That was your cookie?
veritasdgg 0
Way to beautiful
hippie_lover123 6
bahahahahaha
ambeeelove 0
maybe he was tryna commit suicide lls
RabidBunny 10
Strange? Every time I approach an uninjured bird it tends to fly away. I don't know it might just be my face...