tristaph
Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
seagull hater
San Diego, United States
Today, I left my sunroof on my truck open for 5 minutes while I ran into the bank. When I came out, a seagull had gotten into my truck. I managed to open the doors and get it out, but not before it tore up a seat and pooped everywhere inside my truck. FML
andrea99
United States
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
FMLTIMESTWO
United States
Clever
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Anonymous
Boise, United States
Tippi Hedren vibes
Today, I left for my shop in the work truck at 6 a.m. I was still in the process of waking up with my windows down, on a semi-busy street, when BAM! a bird flew in the window into the cab. FML
oops1234
United States
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
craphanded
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United Kingdom
You're welcome…
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
birdbath
United States
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
I'mSoHungry
Auckland, New Zealand
I am very hungry
Today, a bird flew into the workshop where I work, gave itself a tour of the place, then promptly pooped on my lunch and left. FML
birdfoooo
United States
Today, as I was leaving Walmart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML
pass me the fucking rope
Brooklyn, United States
Today, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, a bird shat on my lunch. FML
Top comments
Davros 12
I've always wondered if birds purposely aim for us then meet up in tree somewhere giving each other high 5's like "OH, did you see that guys face"?!
John Nemeth 14
Ben “use the force bird..” Guy on communications “You’ve turned off your targeting computer bird... is something wrong?” Bird “I’ve got this”.....
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Comments (6)
Davros 12
I've always wondered if birds purposely aim for us then meet up in tree somewhere giving each other high 5's like "OH, did you see that guys face"?!
real life problems 26
So wipe it off and get in? You can climb in from the other side also
Cali 57
If it's in the keyhole he can't just wipe it off... Maybe he could force it out with a power washer?
Charlie Given 28
I see you had a shitty drive🤣🤣
John Nemeth 14
Ben “use the force bird..” Guy on communications “You’ve turned off your targeting computer bird... is something wrong?” Bird “I’ve got this”.....
Kruxon 11
Today a bird aimed for my head but I dodged so the shit landed on my bag.. now I have to cleaner it off..FML