Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Today, I was asleep in my back garden and woke up when a bird landed on my hat and took a big shit right in my open mouth. FML
Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML
Today, I saved a baby bird from the site I work on. It was the runt and did not have any feathers and was neglected by the mother. I took care of it all day at work and planned on taking it to a wildlife reserve after work. Two minutes away from the reserve, we hit a pothole and I dropped it. It died. FML
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
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Top comments
oh_merde 11
This could be a horror movie... Or a game. Angry, zombie birds.
shnaky_fml 0
I can't believe the bird didn't fly away :o
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Comments (208)
Snazzy_Snaz 17
That's disgusting >_
realSlimjimShady 7
Hillarious comment man
justmethough 8
You did the right thing, Op. It was a mistake, but at least you didn't let it suffer.
Miswildside 0
I know alot of people who would have left the bird to suffer. Such a cruel world we live in. OP did the right thing, putting it out of its misery. RIP little bird.
abbyelizabeth 9
When I mow, I can see grasshoppers and butterflies in the grass. How do you even manage to run over a bird?
RedPillSucks 33
I imagine that depends on the height of the grass. I've mowed frogs and snakes in grass that was about 3 or 4 inches.
cdsg23 15
It's fairly easy to run over animals since most of them tend to have the same reaction to an oncoming lawn mower, run aimlessly in circles, then freeze and forget that they have the power to get out of the way. They usually manage to run right into the mower as well for some reason. I always feel horrible when that happens.
Snazzy_Snaz 17
69-Avoid the tall grass. In this case OP got into a bit of a scuffle with Pidgey and won.
ScaughtieHolden 11
The grasshoppers always seem to jump right in front of the lawnmower. It must suck being a bug if they all want to kill themselves.
Vturiello27 0
Youre stupid its wings were crushed
Riku714 25
A horrible decision to make :/
oh_merde 11
This could be a horror movie... Or a game. Angry, zombie birds.
fuzzywolf 8
Why don't you work for Rovio yet!? XD
cdsg23 15
Angry Zombie Birds is possibly the best idea for a game I have heard ever...if you make it please let me know!
flamegrilled123 3
Zombies make everything better
Dixbfloppin 11
That bird's soul will return to haunt every living moment of OP's life.
SkateboardGirl88 11
2- You have the best name ever!
shnaky_fml 0
I can't believe the bird didn't fly away :o
ebonyirony 29
Things with crushed wings cannot fly.
peve3 12
I think he means before it was mowed over the first time.
ebonyirony 29
In that case, I bow out. I had assumed they meant after the first time.
yankfan89 27
The bird was playing bird Jackass and didn't move in enough time.
RedPillSucks 33
It may have been a baby. Also, some birds react to predators by standing still and trying to blend in with the environment.
ablueshka 0
Ever seen a green bird in Canada/ someone's back yard?
Inheritance 10
I'm curious how it lived after the first time..
beelee1988 13
They were playing Chicken. But who won? The bird never moved. Clearly neither did the lawnmower. Lawnmower wins on a technicality? I don't know what I'm saying anymore. Ignore me.
t765234 10
You have obviously never seen the ducks in my city, who completely ignore even the largest SUV's as they slowly amble across the road.
Kamon97 23
We had a deal!!!
realSlimjimShady 7
At least it's in bird heaven now
perdix 31
How do you know that the bird was good enough to go to Bird Heaven? Maybe he was a total bastard and was condemned to Bird Hell (which is the same place as Cat Heaven.)
perdix 31
Sorry about mentioning Bird Heaven, but certainly, you must believe in Pitbull Heaven (which is also Cat Hell). The saints at the gates are Chris Brown, Enrique Iglesisas and Marc Anthony.
TovaglioloViso 5
You have to be dead to become a saint.
brynom 8
There's no heaven, sorry bud.
perdix 31
#34 -- that's a pitbull. Baustigt is from Australia, so I don't know what that breed is called Down Under, but in the US, that's a pitbull. #36 -- this is FML, not Theology class. Anyone who dumps Jennifer Lopez can never be a saint -- that ass is divine and rejecting it is heresy!
DocBastard 40
An American bulldog in Australia? Now THAT is heresy.
CaptTeemo 10
It's like how we have German shepherds in the U.S, Doc.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
What about chipmunk heaven? No one cares about the chipmunks!
PhishloverA 14
#4, there is no such thing has bird heaven, dog heaven, cat heaven etc, sorry... If heaven is actually real (Yes I believe in God and go to church), then I'm pretty sure the animals go to the same heaven as humans
SqueakyChipmunk 22
83 is a kill joy
StayClassyLassy 6
#83 & #30 Perdix and everyone else were just joking about the animal heavens.It was not to be taken seriously and offended.
sweetpea5196 4
How do people not know perdix by now? Jeesh, I enjoyed his humor, thank you
soog2 5
I wonder what bird heaven is like...
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
I imagine bird heaven is the same place as worm hell.
michelele 0
rightttttt!!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Leeeeft!
Dixbfloppin 11
Birds are always flying near the clouds anyways. I imagine they find their heaven rather unoriginal and nothing new.
BlakeSaysRawr 7
Dude, you need to learn how to take a joke, it's not offensive in the least bit.
littlem91 29
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I get putting it out of its misery, but... doing it by mowing over it a second time?! Why would you do that? It's just weird. Most people would have done it differently.
Dadothy 8
So tell us how you would have done it that wouldn't be as "weird" as how op did it.
littlem91 29
Break its neck, maybe? Hit it very hard with something? Not make the poor thing into a shredded tweet joke.
tpalzkill52 5
So your going to stop what your doing to get a hammer and smash the brains out of it instead of just continuing mowing the lawn and ending it
FEZ16 3
It's alot easier to mow it again. Cause the time your wasting to go find something to kill it with. It's gonna suffer. If u just do it again quickly it dies and no suffering . That quick and it will be less time for it to suffer.
OhDearBetrayal 25
21- I'm sure I'm not the only Grammar Nazi who suffered a tiny stroke after reading your misuse of the word your/you're.
littlebluepill 1
I am totally with you. It's not hard to use the correct your/you're or there/their/they're!!
eccentrix 12
I find it hard to believe there are more people who would rather be put out of their misery in a blender than wait ten seconds for a knock on the head.
downtime 13
You all assume it was guaranteed that mowing it again would be successful. I think they were simply pointing out that the amount of pain suffered from a lawn mower would be much higher than a blunt object to the head. It was a shitty situation either way - I don't think there was a move you could have pulled that wouldn't be horrible.
Beeftinkle 13
I woulda ozzy osborned it.
KiddNYC1O 22
I'm sure mowing it again would break its neck and everything else so it's all good...
downtime 13
159, It didn't do it the first time apparently, how do you know it won't just take off a wing or something this time?
mishkaroni 15
I agree about putting it out of its misery, butwhen I read this in the moderations, I also thought why run it over again with a lawn mower.
SkateboardGirl88 11
Well OP's not most people...
jemmers 13
That's a horrible way to go for that bird. It made me sick to my stomach.
NOOBSQUAD 0
It might not be to humane but it's better then leaving it to attacked by insects and slowly bleed out.
Marcelb 17
I'm guessing 6 meant being mowed over in the first place. Moving over it a second time, as gruesome as it is, probably was the best option in this scenario.
j5p332 6
Indeed! I'm a golf course superintendent. One of my operators was run over by a rotary mower. He lost half of his foot.. It was absolutely horrifying. P.S. Most homeowners lawn mower blades aren't even sharp. The poor bird was most likely beat to death and torn apart by a blunt object spinning at a couple thousand RPMs. Ouch. P.P.S. No, we didn't run him over and finish him off......
beelee1988 13
116- The end of your comment made me giggle.
j_cat187 20
Mmm... rectal curry surprise.
skyskrape 0
Youre right
Irishgypsy 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Do you work for UNICEF?
brynom 8
UNICEF is for deprived and starving people, not animals. I don't know how that comment relates...
skyeyez9 25
Maybe UNICEF mows over the poor and starving ethiopians.
vcantone 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That sucks for yoouuuu
DracoSpirita 21
I think it sucks more for the bird, actually.
FuzzyJack 15
Ouch! At least you didn't let the bird suffer for too long.
Pandacupcakelove 26
Creepy... I litterarly JUST saw a picture of a dead bird right before reading this FML! It wasn't crushed into pieces, though... That must be uncomfortable. :/ It sounds barbaric, but you did the right thing. If you hadn't killed it, it would suffer, then die anyway.