Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I left for my shop in the work truck at 6 a.m. I was still in the process of waking up with my windows down, on a semi-busy street, when BAM! a bird flew in the window into the cab. FML
Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML
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Top comments
Boweezee 0
Even dead animals deserve respect. YDI for being disrespectful, and obviously not as clever as you thought.
KwitIt 0
I'm surprised it didn't just smear dead bird all over your windshield. Gross. You got kinda lucky.
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Comments (123)
Pandora_NoBox 0
Wow, that sucks! That's pretty gross. I think I would have cried FYL
amandax6 0
HAHAHAH WTFFFFF.
gwoka 0
#82 Seriously? Yep. I guess caring for animals is just some government conspiracy to earn more taxes, or something. Right? And by the way everyone, it's pretty pathetic if you're letting your cat kill your native wildlife. Its because of people like you that we're heading towards having rats and pigeons for wildlife and not much else. FML for being on a planet with ignorant arrogant idiots.
AnaDoll 0
wtff. that's so fake, how could your windshield wipers magically project a bird into your car? like backwards? and at the same time, who finds a dead bird on the windshield, walks up, gets in the car, rolls down the windows then turns on the windshield wipers? yeah, right
mattmag 0
#89, you realize that pigeons and rats are exactly what the cats are eating, right?
gwoka 0
Sorry #91, but I think you'll find cats are eating more than that. Where I live, practically no native animals are left because of stupid people and their cats. Now all they have LEFT is the rats and pigeons.
cellphone341 0
Hahahahaha. That's totally something I would do, too =(
dcard 0
#75 is right, especially about the fact that there's no way the bird could've been pushed to the side and then backwards, through the window. unless he was going incredibly fast, which is retarded coz it sounds like he found it before he started the car. doesn't make sense at all.
caitoLo 0
did a hurricane pass through as soon a you turned your windshield wipers on? or is gravity just not on your side today?
learntolive13 0
AMEN #23!!!