Today, I had to be treated for chemical burns, because my mother got the bright idea of using paint thinner to clean me up after I'd painted our living room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while helping my wife clean the bathroom, I stepped in a puddle of neat bleach she'd randomly left by the shower door. I washed it off straight away but now an hour later I have burns on the bottom of my foot and can’t put weight on it. FML
Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML
Today, I found out how acidic some of the chemicals I work with are. After a chemical shower, minor burns, and having to throw away my clothes due to a biohazard, I had the pleasure of running across the parking lot to my car, wearing only a lab coat around my waist. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML
Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML
Today, I painted my daughter's room with the new paint we bought. It's an oil-based paint which hides all blemishes on the wall, but apparently makes me sick. I'm now throwing up everywhere, but at least the room looks good. FML
Today, my overly-clean mum decided to drop by and surprise me by cleaning my house while I was out jogging. She used half a bottle of bleach, and now it hurts to blink, let alone breathe. FML
Today, my girlfriend offered to wash the bathroom while I was at work. I came back home to find her feeling unwell with a bad headache. She had mixed drain cleaner with bleach because she thought it would make the bathroom cleaner. Now my entire house is a mini gas chamber. FML
Today, I was painting my room. I told my mom not to open the door because I was on a ladder just behind it, with a paint can perched atop. She barged in to ask me what I'd said. FML
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Top comments
walmartpaysme 15
And the reason you lived past infancy is....?
Roevera 14
You didn't realize she was about to use paint thinner on your skin?
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Comments (125)
walmartpaysme 15
And the reason you lived past infancy is....?
ColdplaySucks 18
I though hazardous chemicals have warning labels on them. Why are people so stupid these days?
astoryofroses 9
maybe adopted. no way that lady raised OP and he lived that long p
MormonPornstar 7
They were out of Drain-O, bleach, paint thinner, and pesticide for about 15 years. Had to wait till PayDay
antonio1969 2
Who he **** does that
AngryNinja 1
Op didn't do it to themselves and as a side note, you can use paint thinner to clean paint off. You're supposed to put a very small amount on paper towel and then scrub with soap and water after the paint is gone. I've done it without any chemical burning..
walmartpaysme 15
53, no one said OP did it to themselves.
GypsyRover 0
I would not have let her do that!
ffgghytt 3
And the reason the warning sines are there is because of people like this and then trying to sue over it I hate stupid people.
starbursty 0
Okay so you didn't get chemical burns from paint thiner, maybe lacquer thinner. Lacquer thinner will eat your skin quick paint thinner mineral spirits an will not harm your skin. So I think lacquer thinner is what you mean to say.
WritingWrongs 8
Exactly, but here's my thought: how do you let someone slather paint thinner on you??
walmartpaysme 15
OP might have just been assuming that their mother new what she was doing. You know what assuming does...
DA14573 6
I've cleaned paint off my hands with generous amounts of paint thinner before... Maybe like guy above me said, it was something else. ^
starbursty 0
90- either he doesn't know wtf she used on him/her or this fml is fake as shit... Ill let you decide.
305Miami 0
Lol
ApologyKick 25
Oh I know what happened. He heard about that new chlorine test app...
HighGTurn 12
She*
ApologyKick 25
*face palm* Please see above FML where this comment was meant to be placed.
HipsterFox 3
Wrong fml.. :p
sweetbabysweet93 10
Hopefully you inherited your fathers intelligence
TourettesGuyFTW 26
forget that. just wait until the mutation kicks in. then you'll become part of the X-Men!!
foxholeathiest 4
That's because you let your mom clean you up
Psych101 9
I feel like this FML is getting less "You Deserved It's" than it should. Unless OP didn't know his mom was using paint thinner, which seems improbable, then it was also partially his fault for allowing her to do it. And partially his "bright" idea.
Zestus 19
??? You stood there and took it?
Roevera 14
You didn't realize she was about to use paint thinner on your skin?
ABrokenHeart 11
I don't get it. I've gotten oil based paint on me and used paint to clean myself off and I've never got chemical burn...
Rowdey 10
34 - You cleaned paint off of yourself by putting paint on it?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Yup. He just paints over it with the color that matches his skin. GENIUS!
305Miami 0
Get a new mom, she's a retard
Rowdey 10
She probably just sniffed a little bit too much paint thinner.
gc327072 31
No, she's a ruh-tard.
gc327072 31
Yikes! Didn't she see the little symbol with the drop eroding the stickman's arm? Might want to tell her that little symbol means "avoid skin contact".
sweetbabysweet93 10
Since hen does paint thinner cause chemical burns?
amandajlucas2015 2
That's what I was thinkin.. I've used paint thinner on my skin before ad my skin is fine
CoffeeChickBlows 13
Since forever, you crying-ass idiots. It won't burn your skin off the bone, but it'll burn alright.
sweetbabysweet93 10
I've used several times after oil painting to remove paint from my skin. It's never burned me.