Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I left for my shop in the work truck at 6 a.m. I was still in the process of waking up with my windows down, on a semi-busy street, when BAM! a bird flew in the window into the cab. FML
Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML
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Top comments
Boweezee 0
Even dead animals deserve respect. YDI for being disrespectful, and obviously not as clever as you thought.
KwitIt 0
I'm surprised it didn't just smear dead bird all over your windshield. Gross. You got kinda lucky.
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Comments (123)
da_newb 0
May I ask why dead things deserve respect? They don't know the difference. It is only to satisfy one's own view of what is socially responsible. Chill out. Do you guys go around and bury roadkill because it deserves respect?
ShinkuBara 3
I don't see how this is impossible. Windshields slant up above the door, so if the bird's high enough on the windshield and the wipers push it off, it could fall, hit the door, and bounce into the car.
F_Y_Comments 0
Never has anyone more deserved that, proven by the fact that said dead bird must have flown through the window with all the energy of bird afterlife for this to be possible. Unless of course someone who thought it would 'be clever' has mistaken a window for a sunroof - makes sense.
CyclonePsycho 1
#5 - you're kidding, right? It's not insensitive to want a dead thing off your car and then go on about your day. Did you expect the OP to stop and give it a memorial service? I'm with the OP, I don't like touching random dead animals with my fingers. Though, I wouldn't have used my wipers... I would have just gotten a stick or something...
DaMiz511 0
not clever, physically impossible. fail.
NoMercy_fml 0
I've always wanted wipers that could pick shit up off of my windshield and place it in my car.
TotallyAwesome 0
That sucks, you're going to die soon, that's a death omen.
wolfaust 0
How does that work
rofl_fyl 0
wait, you FOUND a dead bird on your windshield...which means that you had to have been walking to your car and seen it because no one drives around and says "look what i found" when something falls out of the sky and onto their windshield. and instead of thinking, "hey! thats really disgusting let me go get a bag or something to put it in and some gloves to make sure i dont touch it"... you got in your car and started to drive.. (because you would have to be moving pretty fast for that bird to land in your car) ..to wipe it off with your windshield wipers? clever.
cuppy_fml 0
doesnt make sense dumbass. how is that even possible. this ******* blows.