Today, I fed my husband a vegan beef burger so I could show him that it tastes exactly the same when he didn’t notice. He noticed on the first bite and spat it across the kitchen because he thought the meat had expired before I cooked it, and tasted disgusting. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me the sauce he made for our dinner that was meat-based, trying to show me how nice meat is and stop me being a weirdo vegan. The reason I’m vegan is because my digestive system can’t handle animal protein. I’m writing this from the bathroom, vomiting myself to death. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML
Today, I told my husband we should try go vegan for a while to see if there were any health benefits. He threw me over his shoulder and put me outside, because, “crazy plant ladies live outside with the other vegetables.” FML
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML
Today, I spent hours cooking dinner for my date. When they arrived, they told me that I'd probably not paid much attention to their dating profile, as it clearly mentioned that they were vegan, and thus couldn't eat any of the food I'd prepared. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend gets lunch every day at Burger King. I confronted him, and he broke up with me. Apparently, he only pretended to be vegan like me to get in my pants, and now the jig is up he dumped me so he can return to having meat at all three meals of the day. FML
Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML
Today, I tried to cook an extra healthy, vegetable filled meal for my boyfriend and I. Not only did we notice the vegetables were off a little too late, but he also found my hair in his bowl. We had to settle for turkey dinosaurs and spaghetti loops instead. FML
Today, my daughter said she wanted to be vegetarian like me. Beaming with pride, I made her plant-based burgers for dinner. She took one bite, screamed, "EW!" and started crying and begging for beef burgers. FML
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Top comments
mike3775 39
Most people can discern real meat and fake meat. That’s why fake meat producers have spent hundreds of millions attempting to get the taste down, and they still have not accomplished it, and probably never will.
Blueraspberrycat 6
food tampering is a crime in my country and glad for it, dont try and force your food beliefs on your partner it doesnt taste the same and how would you know if you dont eat meat?
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Comments (12)
poopface82 25
You tried and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Gubbon 17
Or, try better.
Hangryko 32
Nice Simpsons reference.
mike3775 39
Most people can discern real meat and fake meat. That’s why fake meat producers have spent hundreds of millions attempting to get the taste down, and they still have not accomplished it, and probably never will.
RichardPencil 32
So, basically, you poisoned a carnivore?
Gubbon 17
What's poisonous about it? Also, a human being an actual carnivore is very unlikely.
Charlie Given 28
Read the ingredients of a veggie burger and then look up what those great ingredients are. and that's not even including the leftover residue pesticides and insecticides from all the vegetables.
Blueraspberrycat 6
food tampering is a crime in my country and glad for it, dont try and force your food beliefs on your partner it doesnt taste the same and how would you know if you dont eat meat?
Gubbon 17
That's not food tampering at all. Youcan't possibly tamper food that you cooked yourself. You also don't have to provide a full ingredient list everytime you offer someone food. She most likely just said "Here's a burger", which is true by definition. Burgers come in many different variants. And where does it say that he/she doesn't eat meat?
Charlie Given 28
Most food tampering laws have a clause that states giving somebody food under "false pretenses" that the food is something else regardless of what the food is, is considered tampering. (example would be telling somebody you cooked one dish but it was really another dish that had ingredients they they were allergic to ,regardless if the cook knew about the allergies or not.)
Hangryko 32
@Gubbon - Found the militant vegan.
Anderling 33
You can't tamper with your *own* food. However, feeding someone *else* food and lying by omission about what's in it does, in fact, count as tampering with food. For all we know, and potentially for all OP knows, husband could have been allergic to it (fun fact: soy, which is present in most meat substitutes, is in the top 8 food allergies) and OP could have sent him to the hospital because husband would not have known to ask.
Crowned Sataness 12
they do not taste the same. not even close if someone tampered with my food like that there would be one hell of a fight. don't push your choices on someone else, he's a grown ass man capable of making his own decisions
Gubbon 17
Try a better one next time... Also the point isn't really that it tastes the same. It tastes different, but some I even like more than real meat.
Charlie Given 28
I tried going vegan for health reasons some of the vegetarian dishes are really good but the vegan only breads and fake meats were disgusting and I tried every brand on the market none of them tasted right the fake meat tasted spoiled and the bread tasted like cardboard ,paper or dirt.
Chazzster 32
OP, how would you have felt if husband had done that to you - Fed you a meat product while telling you it was vegan? Not very nice - Right?
HouseOfM 8
If you think that fake taste as good your sense of taste is awful
Hangryko 32
I'm all for plant based eating, but please don't impose it on others who don't want to partake in it. Respect others' food boundaries, especially your husband's. Don't be that type of vegan.