Today, my 5 year-old twin boys decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML
Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML
Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, I slipped on my son's Hot Wheels cars and fell onto a building made out of Lego. I now have a fractured tailbone and a broken wrist. I called my husband to tell him what happened and all he could do was laugh. My son didn't leave them on the floor, my husband did. FML
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
Today, I found a banana peel on the clean floor. My 4-year-old son said that he was playing Spider-Man and trying to slip. I picked it up and while walking to the kitchen garbage can, slipped on the actual banana. I slid across the kitchen floor, fell, and bruised my tailbone. He laughed. FML
Today, I was babysitting 3 toddlers. I wanted to entertain them by making them laugh, but nothing worked. Later on, I started down the stairs, but tripped and tumbled down. I realized I have broken my arm and bruised my knees. I also realized that kids think it's hilarious when you get injured. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, my son has a habit of picking on his little brother when in a bad mood. I heard a massive crash and found him out cold with his little brother holding a homemade slingshot and a bunch of rocks. Apparently, in school they just learned about David and Goliath. FML
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Top comments
shinicat 11
Silly kids, Batman and Spiderman can't fly. I hope they're ok though
fleg 9
How about you watch your children so stuff like that doesn't happen?
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Comments (332)
hoonyer 17
Don't worry too much about it OP, kids have a way of getting into all sorts of trouble even if you are watching them, take your eyes of them for one second and they bolt -_-
iDaniel525 8
Silly children, Superman and Batman can't fly!
My_Nightmare 19
Superman can, actually. . .
iDaniel525 8
Fail, I meant spiderman. I guess I was thinking of a comment I read earlier..
My_Nightmare 19
And because you admitted your mistake and owned up to it, I will forgive you. . .this time. Muah ha ha
DeeG12 0
First, really bad that this happened. Second, hilarious story to tell for years. Thirdly, only in the past 5-10 years have we not been able to let out kids outside alone. I know I was!
jcingram 2
It's not the injury they deserve but the one they need...wait
vwegland 0
So many people are downing on you for bad parenting. I guarantee if my mom watched me every second of my life and if I never got hurt from the stupid stuff I did I wouldn't be the same person I am today. Kids need to learn by doing not hearing
Pazu_fml 10
Well, to be fair, they need a little bit of both. But yes, there's no use in protecting children from their own childhood.
kitsune3 20
That, and unfortunately, reverse psychology works on children when you don't want it to, which is nearly all the time. You tell them NOT to do something, and they do it, usually out of curiosity.
16MilesPerHour 0
Not very well written. Watch your kids.
16MilesPerHour 0
Not very well written. Watch your kids.
thatmirandachick 7
You're a good mom.
Calyx_fml 22
Neither batman nor spiderman can fly.
Babydoll4ever 7
Exactly! It's all about that Superman.(:
darkmis1 18
Maybe you should watch your kids like a decent mother.