Today, I found out that my kids are both my half-brothers, and the fertility tests my wife had us do a few years ago showed that I'm sterile. She didn't tell me until I found the test results in her desk and asked her about it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in front of my family, my brother's wife announced that she was pregnant with their first child. Everyone joked around and said I was next. Two weeks ago I found out that I'm sterile. FML
Today with a DNA test, I found out that my husband is my half brother. 30 years ago his father made a donation to the sperm bank my mother used, and I’m the result. To make matters worse, I’m pregnant. FML
Today, the paternity test came back. It's like I suspected all along; my "son" is actually my half-brother. FML
Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML
Today, I found out wife has two baby daddies for our two kids. I’m neither one’s baby daddy. FML
Today, I learned I’m shooting blanks and can’t have children. My wife’s response was that her brother can be our sperm donor. She has no issue with this. FML
Today, I got the results proving if my ex-girlfriend's kid was mine. The results came back negative and I can't have kids. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have 3 kids with my wife. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML
Today, I found out that I’m not the father of my “son” but I'm his uncle. The only thing my wife did was to shrug and say, “Shit happens.” FML
Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
I don't know what method your wife used to get your dad to impregnate her, though I'd guess they did it the biblical way, but keeping the truth from you is unforgivable. Are you prepared to maintain your marriage, and continue raising your half-brothers as your sons? And how are you going to keep your relationship with your dad together, now that you know he knocked up your wife?
1ninjanina 7
This needs a follow-up. I read it that his father impregnated her, didn’t even consider that a half brother “donating” might’ve been a possibility. Amazing what a little punctuation mark can do (or not do).
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Comments (38)
BurnInDemonFire 39
I don't know what method your wife used to get your dad to impregnate her, though I'd guess they did it the biblical way, but keeping the truth from you is unforgivable. Are you prepared to maintain your marriage, and continue raising your half-brothers as your sons? And how are you going to keep your relationship with your dad together, now that you know he knocked up your wife?
Clive Wakeham_938077894 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Punctuation is key. My reading of it is that the two kids are his half brother's children. So the OP's wife conceived using the half brother's semen. The question to really ask is "Did the wife have an ongoing affair and conceived?" or "Did she get a semen sample for IVF?"
BurnInDemonFire 39
You may be right. I'd really like to know if/how this was resolved. Does OP still want to raise the kids as his own, or was his wife's betrayal too big to forgive, and he's moved on?
islemstring 8
I made a account just so I can tell you how dumb you are you are trying to be smart by “correcting punctuation” but can’t read three simple sentences and understand it
ohsnapword 21
Either way, someone other than her husband impregnated her without his knowledge. No matter how you try to put it, it still sucks.
distortedcognition 17
It didn’t say my half-brother’s
Lalala579121 28
You say punctuation is key, but the way you read it is not the way the punctuation makes it.
blondie45 21
Nope. If they were his brother’s children then there would be an apostrophe. The way it’s written, the father of the children is OP’s own father which makes the children his half-brothers!
ChakatBlackstar 29
They aren't his half brother's, they're his half brothers i.e. his father's. The lack of apostrophe making the word possessive clearly indicates the latter is the case here
Yudith 28
You read half-brother's, I read half-brothers. Either way, that thing sounds like either a blessing in disguise (OP does like his children, I hope) or an episode of an old trashy Italian movie ("La Famiglia") where the guy, his bros and his dad helped conceive those children which are left in a cage while the eldest daughters go to work either as a maid or as a **** star.
Zekfen 17
And they say you only have to support your child until they are 18. Go get child support from your father and it will be like you are living at home again! Talk about keeping it in the family!
xTwistedCC [TeEm] 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
So your wife is your mom?
xTwistedCC [TeEm] 6
What’s with all the downvotes? Y’all are hoes.
fluffy_gummybear 13
No. His wife is his wife, she just had sex with his dad.
1ninjanina 7
This needs a follow-up. I read it that his father impregnated her, didn’t even consider that a half brother “donating” might’ve been a possibility. Amazing what a little punctuation mark can do (or not do).
RichardPencil 32
If your dad pays for their college, you might be able to forgive him for ******* your wife — many, many times.
fjvitt 14
I love a girl with Daddy issues!
RichardPencil 32
They’re the best!
Marta Perlicka 13
That is gonna be one hell of an interesting family reunion.
DragonMaiden7 15
So... Family Court? I mean you can sue your father or half-brother (whoever the baby daddy is) for emotional distress, divorce your wife for being a lying and cheating *****, sue her for false pretenses of raising those children, and make this a drama mini-series for the family to enjoy. It’ll be big, and you’ll be rich beyond your wildest dreams
live_to_love 25
Maybe rich but probably sad. But I agree better rich and sad than poor and miserable. Hope everything is going to be alright OP !
protoskore 27
Tonight, on Dr. Phil...