Today, my 5 year-old twin boys decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML
Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML
Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, I slipped on my son's Hot Wheels cars and fell onto a building made out of Lego. I now have a fractured tailbone and a broken wrist. I called my husband to tell him what happened and all he could do was laugh. My son didn't leave them on the floor, my husband did. FML
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
Today, I found a banana peel on the clean floor. My 4-year-old son said that he was playing Spider-Man and trying to slip. I picked it up and while walking to the kitchen garbage can, slipped on the actual banana. I slid across the kitchen floor, fell, and bruised my tailbone. He laughed. FML
Today, I was babysitting 3 toddlers. I wanted to entertain them by making them laugh, but nothing worked. Later on, I started down the stairs, but tripped and tumbled down. I realized I have broken my arm and bruised my knees. I also realized that kids think it's hilarious when you get injured. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, my son has a habit of picking on his little brother when in a bad mood. I heard a massive crash and found him out cold with his little brother holding a homemade slingshot and a bunch of rocks. Apparently, in school they just learned about David and Goliath. FML
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Top comments
shinicat 11
Silly kids, Batman and Spiderman can't fly. I hope they're ok though
fleg 9
How about you watch your children so stuff like that doesn't happen?
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Comments (332)
macairelol 0
YDI for not watching your kids good enough... even if you didnt see them go out side, wouldnt you notice they were on top of the shed?
Selfishmachines 6
Big whoop let them learn
BadReputation 0
Geez, when I was a kid, we jumped off a balcony onto a couch with makeshift parachutes (blankets), but we were never cool enough to be superheroes. You people ganging up on OP about watching her twin boys 24/7 are both stupid and unrealistic. Boys will be boys, and I may be a girl, but I was a tomboy, and I learned a lot of important lessons by my parents letting me make mistakes. I did lots of dangerous stuff, got hurt a lot of times, but i gained common sense, something I think our children's generation is going to have a serious problem with. Those of you who coddle, shelter, and 'protect' your kids all the time will most likely end up with unmanageable teenagers and/or wild young adults. And I say good for them; you deserve to have to put up with the repercussions of smothering your kids. They're people, and they have to screw up and learn just like the rest of us. Chin up, OP! Hope your Batman and Spiderman heal up ok! And kudos on maintaining a sense of humor when I know you must be stressed.
Phallic_Metaphor 3
So many people love to point fingers on this site to make themselves feel superior to total strangers. They usually do so talking about things that they have no knowledge or expertise in. So kudos for you for resisting that temptation and another Kudos for a well written, well thought out human response; You are the type of person the internet needs more of.
mandaboo 8
I totally understand that shit happens and kids learn from getting hurt or cutting their own hair or anything that kids do. I certainly don't watch those kids every second. I do know to get my butt in the room when I don't hear them though. I'm just saying it takes a long time to climb a roof and jump down, is all. :)
mkcherry 14
took my foster kid (age 4) less than two minutes to climb to to very top of "play house" should be about the same size as the average shed - maybe with more foot holes, luckily he wasn't hurt, but i freaked when I saw him onto of the thing. This kid also managed to learn to climb over the guard rails to his bed, and a whole host of other things, I add more layers of security to make sure he understands he can get hurts, but I wont know the safety measure has worked until he has tried/failed. OP probably doesn't have a motion sensor camera so she can go back and look at how long it took her kids but lets say it was 2 minutes. Thats less time than it takes the average adult to walk out of the backyard, take a leek, wash hands and go right back to watching their kids.
TuteSweet 13
Oh my goodness! Do you watch your kids? Who leaves two five year olds alone outside? Ydi, they don't.
_words_of_wisdom 4
#222 actually, back in the good ol days (when my parents were kids) everyone let their kids outside unattended, there were no videogames, there was no tv it was go outside and play while dad goes to work and mom works in the kitchen (not sexist thats what they did back then). so its not the fact that they were left unattended, its the fact that OP raised a pair of idiots (which is better than what i was originally gonna post) i dont care how young they are, i was NEVER that idiotic when i was their age. Hell i didnt even believe in Santa or god back then and i still dont, so she was just doing her late 1960's version of parenting, thats not her fault what IS her fault is that she fed her kids heads with bullshit like "anything is possible" or "Santa has flying reigndeer`
punkin_26 16
If you can explain electrocution to a 2 year old then OP can expain a broken neck to her 5 year olds and the point should hit home. My son is almost 4 and he knows he can't play with sharp objects, he can't climb on top of the table, can't play with plugs, ect. I don't watch him every second of the day but I make damn sure he knows what he can and can't do. BTW-jersabelle, did I mention I have a 4 year old. Oh, well just in case you missed that- I have a 4 year old son.
SkeezerAy 1
And where the hell were YOU when this was happening??!! SMDH..Parents these days
Jkhartninja 0
Don't they know to start on the bed first
ebxr82nv 2
That's funny as
punkin_26 16
Actually the way you explained it was perfect. No need to get graphic with a small child. But op can explain how dangerous their actions are in a similar way. kids understand a lot more than adults give them credit for. And I didn't have to tell my son once. I had to tell him MANY times not to do this or that. But I didn't wait till I caught him in the act. I would point out things like scissors or knives and tell him they are 'sharp and ouchies' or I would tell him to stay away from the oven(even if it isn't on) because it is 'hot and ouchies'. You just have to find a way to get thru to the child and when you do it works for almost any situation. My son has gotten plenty of boo boos but no broken bones and I plan on doing what is necessary to keep that from happening.