Today, my 5 year-old twin boys decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML
Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML
Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, I slipped on my son's Hot Wheels cars and fell onto a building made out of Lego. I now have a fractured tailbone and a broken wrist. I called my husband to tell him what happened and all he could do was laugh. My son didn't leave them on the floor, my husband did. FML
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
Today, I found a banana peel on the clean floor. My 4-year-old son said that he was playing Spider-Man and trying to slip. I picked it up and while walking to the kitchen garbage can, slipped on the actual banana. I slid across the kitchen floor, fell, and bruised my tailbone. He laughed. FML
Today, I was babysitting 3 toddlers. I wanted to entertain them by making them laugh, but nothing worked. Later on, I started down the stairs, but tripped and tumbled down. I realized I have broken my arm and bruised my knees. I also realized that kids think it's hilarious when you get injured. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, my son has a habit of picking on his little brother when in a bad mood. I heard a massive crash and found him out cold with his little brother holding a homemade slingshot and a bunch of rocks. Apparently, in school they just learned about David and Goliath. FML
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Top comments
shinicat 11
Silly kids, Batman and Spiderman can't fly. I hope they're ok though
fleg 9
How about you watch your children so stuff like that doesn't happen?
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Comments (332)
Gnrldisarray 0
Kids will be kids. :) I tried to parachute fro our 7' 2" wooden fence with a small umbrella at the age of 5. Luckely I didn't break anything... I say we are a bit too protective of our kids, let them get some bruises and such, this is a natural part of being a kid.
kirby1964 20
Has anyone else noticed that Batman and Spiderman are from different comic book companies and they would not ever appear together like this. I do hate when my nerd side kicks in.
37vipers 0
Wouldn't have happened to superman
TheShiningSnow 5
All I can think of is "Are they really her kid's names?" Cause THAT would be (1) Awesome and (2) Rather crap for the kids :P x
neonberries 15
Well that was silly. It doesn't sound like Batman was wearing his cape and everyone knows that Spiderman can't fly without his web!
TheSissons 1
What idiot leaves their 5 year old kids alone long enough to climb onto the shed? Hell i have to hear threats of CPS over my son being at the bottom of the weight chart, even though my wife and i come from families of below average people and this IDIOT can brush off her 2 kids swan diving off the shed?????? Kill yourself and save your kids lives
THE_A_TEEN 28
Whishing the op would kill herself? You're a dick...
maryliz10 1
U can't watch ur kids 24/7. They have to get hurt every once and a while to understand what danger is. Goodness ppl. All of u that are callen her a bad mother, shut up. Have ur kids ever fallen or got hurt? Yes? Well maybe u should watch em more. :P
YaJustMe 2
Your comment : Everyone is a perfect parent.. UNTIL THEY BECOME ONE! These responses from hypercritical people lead me to wonder if they will beat themselves up when their own child has an accident. Show me a child that reaches adolescence unscathed and I will show you a bad parent who does not believe in letting a child have a childhood.
kickblocker 18
shouldve been watching them. but they are kids anyway, they'll do stupid stuff like that and get hurt. now they know what'll happen at least
josh72492 0
Spiderman was obviously trying to save batman. Everybody gets one.