Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML
Today, I found my 5-year-old son prancing around in high heels and cat ears, wearing a thong as a necklace, and waving a riding crop around like a sword. He'd found the box where granny keeps her special outfits that make granddad extra happy on Friday nights. FML
Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML
Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML
Today, a kid looked at me, screamed, then ran away yelling "Chewbacca!" FML
Today, my 5 year-old twin boys decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my family. My five year old goes under the table and says "Mommy! You forgot to wear underwear!" FML
Today, while snow plowing I accidentally ran over my kid's basketball. I told him what had happened and he responded by spilling his ant farm into my underwear drawer. FML
Today, at my volleyball tournament I was extremely pumped to start playing so I went to take my sweats off and everybody began to stare at me then I looked down to come to realize I had no spandex on, just a thong. FML
Today, after the seventh morning in a row where my son threw a fit because he wanted to wear summer clothes, I put him in shorts and a tank top and put him outside. He got the message and changed into long sleeves and pants. Ten minutes later, cops pull up. My nosy neighbor called CPS. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
FYLDeep 26
Just be glad you got to him right away. Sounded like he was about to **** some bitches up.
abudali911 3
sickest fml ever
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (43)
ltlbart 1
FIRST!
abudali911 3
sickest fml ever
enonymous 9
THIS. IS. AWESOME!!!
StoryOfTheYear 15
Dayum. At least he was wearing protection.
yougotapes 7
Ahhh I love this!!! Story to tell when he gets older!
BellaBelle_fml 23
Most of the time the comments on an FML are funnier than the FML itself. But in this case, the FML is outstanding on it's own.
WOLFEYES72 2
That isn't an FML that's hilarious! If I had a kid and he did that I'd give em' a high five and maybe some ice cream.
lajaynay 15
This is a sick FML in the aspect of this kid being ******* amazing.
frecktured 14
Hey OP, this is called childhood.
22cute 17
I know, Really! Your kid is funny & probably has a future as a director. Lightent up, this is no FML more of a JATD or MLIA.
flockz 20
no this is MADNESS!!
xlord 27
I like all the references to sport and movies. This must be a product placers dream
FYLDeep 26
Just be glad you got to him right away. Sounded like he was about to **** some bitches up.
ZebulonPike 8
Let's try to make this comment the most thumbed-down of any FML comment! Please thumb this comment down!
PeteyPablo12308 20
Your son is awesome. I'll bet there's never a dull moment with him around.
Freeze_fml 17
Madness.
cuddlycactus 11
Madness?
kaylee777 0
Dude, your neighbours suck.
GRRSOM 7
If your son grows up to be anything like G.B., he won't have much trouble with the ladies.
Imabigbeast 5
What a beast