Today, my 5 year-old twin boys decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML
Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML
Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, I slipped on my son's Hot Wheels cars and fell onto a building made out of Lego. I now have a fractured tailbone and a broken wrist. I called my husband to tell him what happened and all he could do was laugh. My son didn't leave them on the floor, my husband did. FML
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
Today, I found a banana peel on the clean floor. My 4-year-old son said that he was playing Spider-Man and trying to slip. I picked it up and while walking to the kitchen garbage can, slipped on the actual banana. I slid across the kitchen floor, fell, and bruised my tailbone. He laughed. FML
Today, I was babysitting 3 toddlers. I wanted to entertain them by making them laugh, but nothing worked. Later on, I started down the stairs, but tripped and tumbled down. I realized I have broken my arm and bruised my knees. I also realized that kids think it's hilarious when you get injured. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, my son has a habit of picking on his little brother when in a bad mood. I heard a massive crash and found him out cold with his little brother holding a homemade slingshot and a bunch of rocks. Apparently, in school they just learned about David and Goliath. FML
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Top comments
shinicat 11
Silly kids, Batman and Spiderman can't fly. I hope they're ok though
fleg 9
How about you watch your children so stuff like that doesn't happen?
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Comments (332)
fleg 9
How about you watch your children so stuff like that doesn't happen?
EelJumpsRope 0
Agreed. Great parenting.
bammeh 0
Why do people take this stuff so seriously. Kids do stupid things! They're not dead or anything.
DrewsFML 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
"tooday my mommie let me an my bruther jump awf a roof an we allmost died an im only 5! fml"
sierra142 19
Stuff happens. Kids get up to trouble in a matter of minutes. You can't watch them 24/7.
enonymous 9
Co-Starring Mom as the Joker... Why So Serious?
AnonymousTroll 2
At least you can tell them apart now!
maj28 0
24 - total win
Kiirst_mt1994 26
watching children 24/7 can be impossible. But also, where was the dad? ...
SpicyDuck 22
You can't watch your kids every second of the day. Im not a mom and I know that. Kids get hurt and it becomes a lesson. I broke my arm playing hide and go seek when I was a kid. I was never the same after that..
morgan320 0
Did you call your twins Batman and Spiderman, OP? You're awesome!
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
#46 if you broke your arm playing hide and go seek, you are playing it wrong.
ScaughtieHolden 11
Yeah 46, those are some pretty intense games you play.
SkardeyKat 3
Maybe the dad is where my kids' dad is.... Not around.
Leah_Adelle 0
People keep saying accidents happen but you know the kids could have died in some situations.. There are definitely ways around it and it can be prevented
mspeacock 6
So, the kids can sit in their pj's all day, climb up on a shed and take turns jumping off... But mom didn't know what they were up to? Guess she was too busy online reading fml to be attentive? She's lucky they didn't break their necks.
My_Nightmare 19
And that's a win for #53!
fleg 9
"accidents happen"?? Really? It's one thing if your twins clog up the toilet or draw on a wall while you're not paying attention. It's completely different when you're so oblivious that your twins manage to CLIMB UP A FREAKING SHED AND JUMP OFF!! Accident happen. Kids fall and break shit all the time. But letting 5 year olds jump off a shed is negligence.
yadisingh 5
38. 24 epically failed. There was no win there.
doctorwhogirl 0
you shouldn't have taken them to the hospital- robutusen would have fixed them up good
kaoticllama 1
I don't believe you're a bad parent at all. Too many people try to contain their kids and limit their ability to imagine. Sure they got hurt, but it wasn't anything permanent, and children learn from their mistakes.
mbsmbs 2
53 it's called extreme hide and go seek. It's awesome. It's hide and go seek with hand to hand combat. You count as found when u break something...or die:)whichever one comes last
X_Codes 11
To everyone saying "oh you can't watch them 24/7..." You can keep your house ordered in a way that they can't climb the shed in the first place! That said, kids ARE stupid. Don't deny it, you were there, once.
tjv3 10
they must not have had their capes on lol.
srgsk9 9
Man, some of you guys are really butthurt when it comes to a parenting FML. I did stupid shit like this all the time and my parents watched me like a hawk. I only got better at slipping away.
BeeMaddness 0
Step off. Kids do stupid shit all the time. And you can't watch your kids all the time. Plus this is a normal part of growing up
punkin_26 16
122-And If you run outta 'Tussin'-add water to it, shake it up-mo' Tussin!! I freakin' love Chris Rock!
pepper477 6
Horrible parenting! they should know Batman can't fly!
nalia18 8
Give batman some milk and cookies (build bone strength) and get spiderman some books about how spiders cant fly... I would say theyd learn from it but im not sure if spiderman can remember jumping...
jaismiles123987 1
who ever said the dad wasnt around? maybe this is the dad. YDI's for stereotyping.
Matty1188 6
Or at work. Making money to pay the medical bills.
KaanTech 0
#1 Yea right you people are so smart thinking we shouldn't let children watch superman, spiderman, batman cartoons because they are not real ??? Damn I love marvel
KaanTech 0
Ups read wrong, forget about my first commet.
Llama_Face89 34
Have you ever tried to keep track of one 5 year old, let alone 2? It's not easy. >_
skygoddess86 4
Hahaha, benadryl too!
FailedAtWinning 7
Spiderman doesnt wear a cape
JustAGirlNo1Sees 3
I agree, I have a 2 year old daughter and she climbs on things so quickly that I can't even comprehend it, and 5 year old boys have quite a lot of energy, also children get more and more clever as they get older...for all we know op probably had already tucked them into bed and they snuck downstairs, and the first time op heard from them again was them crying from "flying" off of the shed.
suxs4ulol 22
44-mabey shes divorced
drummergirl1031 2
Uhmmm? I'm 15 and I know if you have more than 1 kid you can't watch them 24/7??? Cleaning on top of coking laundry? Think about it?
missalkali 8
don't forget bathroom breaks!! my sister has three kids under the age of 7, in the time it takes her to go to the bathroom even at top speed those kids can empty half her kitchen cupboards! if they had a shed to climb on I wouldn't be too shocked if they did just that. just saying, kids move at lightening speed and do the darnedest things. a parent of pajama clad 5 year olds is likely to believe that at most they're making a disaster zone of their room seeing as that's where they were probably put within the last 10 minutes. and seeing as children are also masters of stealth it's not surprising that they weren't heard until their cries of pain even if the parent was listening out for them. in short, shut up all you "I am a perfect parent and I will never let my child get a scratch" I'm sure once you have children, if you ever do, they'll break their fair share of their bones! so stop attacking this poor overwhelmed parent and get a life!!
mkcherry 14
Kids could have done this in the five minutes she went to the bathroom. Should she hire a babysitter or just hold it until someone can come in to supervise? Kids do stupid stuff and you cannot stare them down every minute of every day. No parent is perfect and no parent can make sure their kids are never hurt.
professorchaosx 14
But Batman doesn't have parents to watch him...
shinicat 11
Silly kids, Batman and Spiderman can't fly. I hope they're ok though
brianjman14 23
Batman should have at least glided so he'd avoid that broken arm.
Epsilonyx 15
Spiderman seems to have flown. I think he just hit a bird on his head on the way down. Batman just sounds stupid.
pimpcakes2 11
Today, spiderman and batman learned how mortal they really are. Lol Gotta love crushed dreams and life lessons. They probably won't be trying that again though.
thisisafunnyname 12
OP fails to mention that they did actually fly, they just crashed into trees.
natashax21 5
Should have picked superman.
flagg1888 3
The did fly. Just straight down
KayleighRenee 0
Holy shit that's exactly what I first thought "silly kids. Batman and spiderman can't fly"
Sae_Ghelk 6
What I was wondering wad why the second kid jumped, after seeing his brothers arm either bent the wrong way, or him passed out on the floor.
Llama_Face89 34
260- I'm guessing they jumped at the same time. Novel idea.
everajade 0
Now if superman had been up there, maybe everyone would have been okay. Lol
TheNewGuy03 29
They should have opted for Flash -- at least they'd get some exercise! |the kid|
bets011 0
Well, they're 5 so they probably don't know any better!!!
Lady_T 3
Epic win
Penguin1942 0
36- how is that funny?
upyourzlolz 11
Super.
tsim_fml 0
"riddle me that batman"
pman590 8
That's how batman does It hardcore! :-D
lovelylittleme 0
...good parenting?
DalekScythe 0
Why so serious OP? Don't pop a Bane! What was the Doctor's last name, did have something to do with a sea creature? Hey maybe a Robin hit them on the way down! Glad they didn't fall in Poison Ivy! What no Carnage? were infected with venom? I am such a Joker.... Mr. Freeze Catwoman Sand Man....
melikeyturtles 3
Dude, you tried way too hard on that one. Just stop....
Llama_Face89 34
228- you mentioned The Joker twice. :)
Neorecon19 18
I'm guessing you predict a Darwin Award in their future?
Egnar 19
Your kids obviously don't know enough about Superheroes to know which of them can fly - That's probably the problem. Suggest they pretend to be Superman next time.
raphanne_fml 33
Yep, and I also suggest a time-out where they could pretend to be the Gargoyles...
fatcow282 8
Lol
chickenwalrus 14
don't worry. those kids will look back on that as teenagers and SHIT THEIR PANTS laughing.
steadycreepin 5
The good ole days
Feklfekl2222 32
Aww I feel sorry for you having to look after them but it's cute that they did it
13FTW 9
It's cute they injured themselves? What kind of sick bastard are you?
screamo_neve 12
That's ****** up...
uffiewuffie 0
Um you're supposed to always look after your kids.
My_Nightmare 19
Aww, look at the bones sticking out of the little "super heroes". Isn't that just precious?! Seriously, wtf is wrong with you that you would think that's cute?
Feklfekl2222 32
It's cute that they thought they could fly not that they hurt theirselves
13FTW 9
Now that you notice we are on to your crazed sexual fantasies of children getting hurt you try to cover your tracks but, we've caught on. Very tricky.
My_Nightmare 19
There's a certain amount of truth behind every "just kidding". . .
Taylo12237 5
Awww wittle johny broke his arm! Just adorable... And oh! Did ur brother get a slight concussion? You two are the cutest!
KK3137 31
I think he means that it was a cute idea, not the fact that they got injured. Just the imagination and playfulness.
Llama_Face89 34
171- honestly...that was pretty creepy, and that statement carries a lot of weight considering the source... :
tfair85 2
Great parenting that is. I would like to ask who leaves any five year old outside unattended? Second, how did they manage to get onto the shed, because I'm assuming a ladder or other object was left near it. Third, I agree with 4, teach them who does fly so they know.
Egnar 19
Kids do stupid shit - They're 5, not 2. . .Which means they're capable of running amuck in their own trouble. The kids were still in their pajamas, so, for all we know they woke up earlier than mommy that day and decided to get into trouble. Or maybe mom was cooking some breakfast and didn't expect her kids to run outside to the back and jump off the roof of the shed in a period of 10 minutes. OR, maybe their backyard is fenced in so she felt safe leaving them alone for a few minutes. Good parenting isn't keeping a leash on your kids.
Shayners5565 3
I agree wity Egnar , your taking it a bit far , you dont know the background story , and all kids do stupid things , if youve never done anything stupid that will be a highlight for the rest of your life , then your parents obviously kept you in a cage your whole life
mspeacock 6
No, but a good parent would have at least had a clue what's going on in their house. At age 5 kids can be taught what's ok and not ok, and they should know it is impossible to fly. Also, when you have twin boys that are clearly adventurous... Common sense is to keep an eye on them at all times.
ravenscheer3415 0
I have a 5 year old brother and he is allowed outside by himself, without my mom keeping a constant eye on him. When you were 5 did your parents do that for you? Also, at my house we have a barn where the roof is not far from the ground; it's easy to get up, but not so easy getting down.
ankoku 2
Ya know.. When I was 5 if someone did this they would get yelled at for being stupid. Nowadays we expect this to happen and yell at the parents. WTF is happening?
b_Team 3
I agree. I am a twin and my brother and I did all sorts of shit. My mother couldn't watch us all the time, we jumped from our shed, we climbed trees and jumped from them, and we even (with some friends) walked to the daycare to our babysitters house instead of getting on the bus, crossed a busy road in the middle of a Michigan winter and had the police, our parents, the bus drivers and the babysitter searching for us. The fact of the matter is, IT HAPPENS! It is not the mother's fault, sheltering kids gives them less experience to learn from.
Llama_Face89 34
81- the fact remains that it's IMPOSSIBLE to watch them at all times. And yes they can know right from wrong...but they're 5 year old boys...when I was 5 I'd do stuff like that to see my parents look of terror. Thought it was hilarious.
adrrii 0
Shut up
Kolden 11
That's awesome.
yankfan89 27
How is it awesome that two young children got injured? What's wrong with you?
mistersheezy 7
Holy numb spider senses batman!!!
wilsontws 18
You know hat they say, can't beat them? Join them. Get a Wonderwoman costume. :)
wilsontws 18
What* sorry I'm ashamed. =(