Today, my 5 year-old twin boys decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML
Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML
Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, I slipped on my son's Hot Wheels cars and fell onto a building made out of Lego. I now have a fractured tailbone and a broken wrist. I called my husband to tell him what happened and all he could do was laugh. My son didn't leave them on the floor, my husband did. FML
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
Today, I found a banana peel on the clean floor. My 4-year-old son said that he was playing Spider-Man and trying to slip. I picked it up and while walking to the kitchen garbage can, slipped on the actual banana. I slid across the kitchen floor, fell, and bruised my tailbone. He laughed. FML
Today, I was babysitting 3 toddlers. I wanted to entertain them by making them laugh, but nothing worked. Later on, I started down the stairs, but tripped and tumbled down. I realized I have broken my arm and bruised my knees. I also realized that kids think it's hilarious when you get injured. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, my son has a habit of picking on his little brother when in a bad mood. I heard a massive crash and found him out cold with his little brother holding a homemade slingshot and a bunch of rocks. Apparently, in school they just learned about David and Goliath. FML
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Top comments
shinicat 11
Silly kids, Batman and Spiderman can't fly. I hope they're ok though
fleg 9
How about you watch your children so stuff like that doesn't happen?
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Comments (332)
Code9Pickle 2
It's always free to dream high but they went a bit over the limits. I hope they're okay.
Insane_Tea 15
FYL? Spiderman and Batman just lost some super credibility.
Wheredidgrungego 12
Don't worry, those superheroes weren't meant to fly in the first place.
farhil 14
No... They've never been able to fly.
farhil 14
I do believe this comment was meant for 33. Sorry
sierra142 19
"I may never fly like Superman, climb like Spiderman, swim like aquaman, Indian Jones is no match for who I am"
bobslawnservice 16
I did something similar when I was just a little older than them and except for a cool scar I think I turned out ok. Don't feel bad OP, this is pretty common even if it is a pain in the butt. What does not outright kill the little buggers makes them harder or hopefully a little smarter.
perdix 31
And they laugh at the obese children who sit on the couch and play video games! The "active" kids with die young of violent deaths, while the fatties will have quick heart attacks in their 30s.
adamls96 0
I can't think of anyone who you didn't make fun of in this statement.
My_Nightmare 19
And that's what makes him great, 43
adamls96 0
Agreed 77, feelings are overrated anyway... Sort of like Perdix
perdix 31
Where are these ratings?
adamls96 0
...
My_Nightmare 19
People that get their feelings hurt easily shouldn't be on this site. Who doesn't get their feelings hurt on here? Seriously
adamls96 0
123 I'm having trouble understanding what you are trying to say... You stated your opinion and somehow managed to contradict it in the same comment.
My_Nightmare 19
I'll clarify my second sentence. What I meant was, there's nobody on this site that never gets a comment directed at them that is meant to hurt their feelings. My apologies for not being precise with my words.
ikickgingers 15
Superman once wrote on a wall: "Batman is a wimp." The next day Batman wrote: "Superman is Clark Kent" Batman for life bitches!!! :D
Enslaved 38
Not Daredevil? Oh wait.... That would be you since you're blind and not watching your kids properly. DC and Marvel, mixed? I feel so off balanced. Lol
loserman67 36
Just wait until they re-enact scenes from Brokeback Mountain. One will be Heath Ledger and the other Jake Gyllenhall. Good luck sorting that out!
rattusrattus 19
Eww, incest.
unluckyv 7
This wouldn't happen if they dressed like superman cuz only he can fly