Today, my 5 year-old twin boys decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML
Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML
Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, I slipped on my son's Hot Wheels cars and fell onto a building made out of Lego. I now have a fractured tailbone and a broken wrist. I called my husband to tell him what happened and all he could do was laugh. My son didn't leave them on the floor, my husband did. FML
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
Today, I found a banana peel on the clean floor. My 4-year-old son said that he was playing Spider-Man and trying to slip. I picked it up and while walking to the kitchen garbage can, slipped on the actual banana. I slid across the kitchen floor, fell, and bruised my tailbone. He laughed. FML
Today, I was babysitting 3 toddlers. I wanted to entertain them by making them laugh, but nothing worked. Later on, I started down the stairs, but tripped and tumbled down. I realized I have broken my arm and bruised my knees. I also realized that kids think it's hilarious when you get injured. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, my son has a habit of picking on his little brother when in a bad mood. I heard a massive crash and found him out cold with his little brother holding a homemade slingshot and a bunch of rocks. Apparently, in school they just learned about David and Goliath. FML
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Top comments
shinicat 11
Silly kids, Batman and Spiderman can't fly. I hope they're ok though
fleg 9
How about you watch your children so stuff like that doesn't happen?
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Comments (332)
HunkyFes 6
Always knew Spiderman would win in a fight!
gambatte 0
where's Robin?
Freenow_fml 5
Oh come on ! I've learned from experience that you can tell your kid a million time not to climb on things because they're gonna hurt themselve, they are gonna do it anyway. I learned to say it once and to let them learn by themselves. But this kind of accident, you can be the best mother ever, it's gonna happen. And there's always a moment in the day a mother is not gonna watch her kids for a few minutes because her attention is elsewhere. This is just human (same for fathers). And this does not make you a bad parent. I bet these kids are never gonna do that again, and they'll tell their friends what happened to them. So that makes at least a dozen kids educated instead of just two. That's pretty good in my opinion.
MrsAgony 6
Great parenting.
lisaw375 0
I have twin boys who survived to 22 yes! mine boys were batman & robin when they were little. don't worry mom this is just one of many times you'll be in the emergency room my dear. now I have to watch one twin "hardcore wrestle" it's bloody but it's part of being the mom of boys, especially twins!! good luck :)
muhilrashid 4
Batman has a cape
caysters 12
Honestly, you're very lucky your kids only got those injuries! Be careful and make sure they can't get up there anymore. Next time, it might not just be a "slight" concussion... Glad they are okay!
JeanVaJean 6
THE_A_TEEN 28
This is what happens when you listen to bullshit about bad parenting, you get haters thinking they're perfect parents trying to make people like the op look like the bad guy. Sheltered *****. op, dont listen to these idiots calling you a bad parent, kids are kids, they do stupid shit, don't worry, well you should be worried right now...
AristocratAdler 8
As has been said countless times before - this is what children *DO*. As a kid I was given reasonable supervision when doing something potentially dangerous (working with something hot or sharp, as per example), but other than that I was left to my own devices. And I got hurt. And it was *good* for me. I skinned my knees, fell out of trees, nearly poked my own eye out with a stick, climbed over fences, propelled myself bodily from swingsets, jumped off play structures, and indulged in elaborate and extremely dangerous games of tag with my friends. Notably, I am still here to tell the tale. As for dealing with said injuries, my parents bandaged me up and comforted me, and I learned not to do whatever it was that got me hurt again. Kids have to learn what pain is, how to deal with it, and how to avoid it. And parents cannot be expected to prevent anything bad ever happening to their children. If they actually managed to, I would argue that more damage has been done than any injury inflicted by gravity or a pair of scissors. Real poor parenting comes from parents who don't let their kids experience the world properly.