Today, my 5 year-old twin boys decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML
Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML
Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, I slipped on my son's Hot Wheels cars and fell onto a building made out of Lego. I now have a fractured tailbone and a broken wrist. I called my husband to tell him what happened and all he could do was laugh. My son didn't leave them on the floor, my husband did. FML
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
Today, I found a banana peel on the clean floor. My 4-year-old son said that he was playing Spider-Man and trying to slip. I picked it up and while walking to the kitchen garbage can, slipped on the actual banana. I slid across the kitchen floor, fell, and bruised my tailbone. He laughed. FML
Today, I was babysitting 3 toddlers. I wanted to entertain them by making them laugh, but nothing worked. Later on, I started down the stairs, but tripped and tumbled down. I realized I have broken my arm and bruised my knees. I also realized that kids think it's hilarious when you get injured. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, my son has a habit of picking on his little brother when in a bad mood. I heard a massive crash and found him out cold with his little brother holding a homemade slingshot and a bunch of rocks. Apparently, in school they just learned about David and Goliath. FML
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Top comments
shinicat 11
Silly kids, Batman and Spiderman can't fly. I hope they're ok though
fleg 9
How about you watch your children so stuff like that doesn't happen?
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Comments (332)
italiianxloveer 0
How about you pay attention to your kids?
bribubbles 10
Spiderman Turn Off The Dark now featuring Batman.
twisted_cherub 14
Don't worry about the haters OP. I noticed most of them are still kids themselves. Anyone over 25 remembers when kids were to play outside just to give our parents a little peace. I had four concussions growing up & I'm fine. I have a friend, however, who's parents watched him every second. He's a socially awkward virgin, still living with them at age 27. For the love of God, let your kids get hurt.
Corilee13 7
Honestly OP, don't listen to these people. I jumped off a roof at 5 with an umbrella trying to be Mary Poppins (I was playing upstairs and got the wonderful idea), I drank soap to try to burp bubbles like I saw in a cartoon also at 5 (bath time) I broke my arm climbing a tree at 8. Kids get hurt, it happens. My mom wasn't negligent for any of my dumb ideas. I wrecked my bike, fell down, stepped on a nail, broke a lampshade and cut my hand, cut my hand with scissors and all of it was just an accident. It doesn't make you a bad parent. Kids find ways to do dumb things no matter how much you watch them.
SanDiegoGirl111 3
Holy shit, Corilee!!! I jumped off the roof with an umbrella trying to be Mary Poppins, and was around 5 yrs old too!! LMFAO...little ashamed to admit I was kinda surprised when it didn't work :-D
malfean 4
Darwinism in action?
JacqJacqAttack 0
lets hope intelligence isnt genetic, maybe they will have children with common sense, or they will get smarter as they grow up, lets hope for 2....
SnailJamsss 6
So where exactly were you when your kids decided to try and kill themselves basically? And why FYL? because you don't watch your kids like you're supposed to? Good god, lady.
afulks78 11
Uhm watch your kids bro.
ikillkkk 0
Nananananana batman
hellodeandra 8
That's actually pretty darn cute. :3