Today, my 5 year-old twin boys decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML
Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML
Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, I slipped on my son's Hot Wheels cars and fell onto a building made out of Lego. I now have a fractured tailbone and a broken wrist. I called my husband to tell him what happened and all he could do was laugh. My son didn't leave them on the floor, my husband did. FML
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
Today, I found a banana peel on the clean floor. My 4-year-old son said that he was playing Spider-Man and trying to slip. I picked it up and while walking to the kitchen garbage can, slipped on the actual banana. I slid across the kitchen floor, fell, and bruised my tailbone. He laughed. FML
Today, I was babysitting 3 toddlers. I wanted to entertain them by making them laugh, but nothing worked. Later on, I started down the stairs, but tripped and tumbled down. I realized I have broken my arm and bruised my knees. I also realized that kids think it's hilarious when you get injured. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, my son has a habit of picking on his little brother when in a bad mood. I heard a massive crash and found him out cold with his little brother holding a homemade slingshot and a bunch of rocks. Apparently, in school they just learned about David and Goliath. FML
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Top comments
shinicat 11
Silly kids, Batman and Spiderman can't fly. I hope they're ok though
fleg 9
How about you watch your children so stuff like that doesn't happen?
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Comments (332)
icic6772 0
Well obviously. Neither batman or spiderman can fly.
IgotPoked 0
Haha I laughed really hard at the way you said that! I feel bad for the kids though...
imcharp 5
Crazy kids. Cute but crazy. Hope they're doing ok.
coltsrock37 15
that would be a Marvel to witness.
SupermanXL 3
Yea.. If only Batman wasn't such a DC.
mspeacock 6
Brilliant
InvaderZacko 0
Aha... I see what you did there
ShadowSneaker360 16
Isn't batman a DC character??
Courtney_Sanders 6
Who leaves two five year olds outside unattended? I'm sorry, but that's some pretty bad parenting. YDI for sure.
bammeh 0
This comment is retarded^^^^
Llama_Face89 34
Honestly? Probably millions of people with fenced in yards.
mandaboo 8
Parents never cease to amaze me. I'm sure your excuse was "I only took my eyes off of them for a second..." Whenever people say that to me I go through the scene step by step to see just how many seconds their eyes were actually off of their children.
marpay 11
I love when people with no children judge parents. One day you to shall have children and find out how easily it is for them to sneak off and do something bad. It's truly possible that op went to take a shit and they did this while she was in there. It's not like you are going to bring them in so you can watch them while you shit. It is improbable to think that you can watch them 24/7.
DrewsFML 8
Oh boo hoo it's so hard to keep my kids safe! Please. Yes, good parents actually do make a plan to keep their kids safe when they take a shit, because it's not good enough to have two children seriously hurt because you were in the f'n can. Lock the doors. Install gates. Make them play in a nearby room until you're done. If you don't hear them for 2 seconds pull your pants up mid-shit and FIND them. That's what responsible parents do.
Freenow_fml 5
What about human ? A parent is only a human, and human do mistakes. Moreover, twins are particalarly difficult to handle. Oh yeah you can add gates and fences... but when you don't have money for that, you don't do that. And even if you have the money, do you really want to trap your kids ? Do you really want them to never know what pain is ? But your not ALWAYS gonna be around. They'll grow up, and unfortunately, they will know pain. And without defense. Ouh yeah, that rocks as parenting responsability !
marpay 11
98- You can plan all you want. Put on a show, get them toys, set them in the next room and that will sometimes work to keep one child distracted long enough for a shower or shit. But five year olds are mischievous, and two of them (boys especially) would be very difficult to keep tabs on. I'm not sure if your parents kept you locked in a room your entire childhood. If they did sorry, but it's normal to allow your children to learn and play on their own. I have a 8 ft fence with locks on the gates in my backyard, but it doesn't mean that 5 year old twin boys wouldn't be able to find trouble back there. Kids do stupid shit. That's why they have parents to help them learn from their mistakes and fix them.
alexchiltonLC 7
98 they're kids not dogs. Cut the leash
mkcherry 14
So your children have never in their entire lifetime not had you or someone else staring them down like a guard dog? You seriously never leave your children alone to pee, make a phone call, take a shower? Please let us all know if your children have never, ever, had an accident because of you guarding them at all times. You can tell your kids go play in the next room and sometimes they wander away. If you have a fenced in backyard, it would be perfectly acceptable to leave them alone for a minute or tow. Kids, even toddlers will behave while you watch them and then the moment you turn your back climb their child gates, climb out of their beds etc. My foster child learned how to climb over the guard rails on his bed and made his way to the fridge in the middle of the night. Thank goodness all he did was get some juice but we learned AFTER the fact that we had to put the gate in front of his room door when he slept. Sometimes you just don't know, it has nothing to do with being a bad parent, but being human.
sicnesses 6
With great power comes great responsibility...
adamls96 0
They somehow managed to pick two of the very few superheroes who can't fly.
gaffag 2
I understand spiderman getting hurt but I hope batman at least glided for a little before he broke his arm
dontpanic_fml 32
Um. Webslinging. That should have happened
muangelofmusic 4
What a completely preventable situation... Ydi, but fml for your boys who have another 13 years with you before they can move out
brianjman14 23
She can't watch her kids 24/7. Kids do stupid things.
merryhappy1887 20
yea, great, whatever, kids do stupid things but i know my five year old nephews aren't outside unattended climbing on sheds. one, because they KNOW better (thanks to military style child raising) & they don't do shit (like go outside) without asking mom or dad.. two, who leaves their kids alone long enough to come up with a way to get onto the roof of your shed & BOTH of them jump off it? get a ******* clue, this is a PARENT FAIL.
Pazu_fml 10
Oh, please. Either you people had sheltered childhoods, or you've completely forgotten what it's like to be a kid. It's very easy to get in trouble, even with responsible parents. Some kids don't understand or believe what their parents warn them about, and they'll do things they were advised against anyway. I did it, you probably did it, pretty much every kid does it. Now if the kids jumped off the shed a SECOND time after learning how much it hurts, then we'd have a problem.
merryhappy1887 20
i didn't have a sheltered childhood, but i also wasn't outside unattended. even if we weren't being watched, we knew better then to do shit like that, cause my mom knew how to lay the law down. there was always an adult outside with us whether it was my parents or one of the neighbor's parents, or whatever. point is, kids shouldn't be outside unsupervised that's how they get up on sheds or get kidnapped or fall in the pool & shit like that. people should realize that this is NOT the worst thing that could have happened to these kids!
Llama_Face89 34
125- Uhh...let's quote the OP together real quick... "my twin boys". Not "my twin brothers". They're OP's sons.