Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
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Top comments
Weil 0
Owned.
Astroman129 7
Yeah, I hate when some people decide to make things a lot more depressing for no reason. It would be even worse if you had erectile dysfunction. =[
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Comments (124)
silentfirefly 0
...she was joking.
Art_Vandeley 0
wow what a bitch
jSOPURE 3
I also agree with #25. Poke, poke, fun. :)
Tuxedo_Mask 0
reminds me of my boyfriend, he always gets a boner when we hug. it's cute in my opinion
thebeefytaco 0
what's with all of the FMLs like this, they're just joking...
mykon_fml 0
well you know what you say back? THATS YOUR FAULT BITCH BE SEXIER! damn. extra owned.
unfixie 0
a lot of people are taking this so seriously. and to #41 --- those are facts about us (women) .. and yes, it has to do with our hormones!.. yet again, i find this FML funny..and that this couple are cute... it's NOT worse than your boyfriend telling you that you should get you boobs done. a little bit. and then when he saw my upset face, he followed just kidding. he's kidding or not, that hurt -- cuz that was a body part that he was talking about...and he got mad at me for not taking the joke. BS. so # 35, there's my experience! it's better than this FML erection thing!
urallosers 0
so y don't you just get rid of her? are you that pathetic? if a girl says something like, why not come back with 'wonder why' as in your girlfriend is ugly? have some balls, guy.
paramite12 0
You should have said "only because of you baby!" and then patted her on the back with a big smile on your face.
howmanybeestings 0
LMAO that was really mean but i'm sure she was just taking advantage of an amazing opportunity. best comeback ever!