Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
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Top comments
Weil 0
Owned.
Astroman129 7
Yeah, I hate when some people decide to make things a lot more depressing for no reason. It would be even worse if you had erectile dysfunction. =[
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Comments (124)
iamsansname 0
That's really more of a 'that's what she said'/'so's your face'. If it starts with "so's your" it's generally not to be taken seriously, nor is it usually a particularly good joke. You totally walked into it.
Wooksta 0
ha, she sounds witty, probably a joke
thelastnerd 5
You should have replied with, "And who's fault is that?"
fyasko124 0
haha she must of been really comfortable with you to say that dont take it as an insult brah
courtgirl263 0
thats sexy... lucky gf
Vehicle 1
I wasn't there... But to me it sounds like she was just kidding around.
persephone13 0
Reading over this and other related FMLs...there are some MEAN women out there! WTF??? There are some lines you don't cross--even if it happens to be true, for god's sake, give the guy a break!
BEB131 0
Cuz of her face
MozillaFirefox 0
Obviously, she didn't realize how overly sensitive her boyfriend is. Unless you're just posting a funny anecdote from your life, in which case, go you for laughing.
toaster135 0
clearly she was joking but it was totally inappropriate. just because you're joking doesn't make any subject matter completely okay. first of all, his erection was not even an issue. the two were having a fun moment, and she brings his friggin dick into it. ridiculous. what if they were walking and saw a squirrel, she says "wow thats really small", and he says, "so are your ****"? equally inappropriate, not funny, and hurtful. and I love how people think she's 'witty'. thats seriously a really bad joke. and for those calling it a 'comeback', comebacks are used in response to insults, not innocent comments. jesus.