Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
Today, I started playing footsie with the girl I like next to me in Biology. Turns out it was the table leg. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML
Today, I brought my new girlfriend home for dinner. My mom was being unusually quiet, so I thought she was trying to be polite. After dinner, she pulled me aside and asked why I'd never mentioned that my girlfriend had dated my brother. Apparently everyone knew except me. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house. One thing led to another and we were just getting to the good parts when his mom walked in. After a long, awkward pause, she said, "I like your socks" and walked out. She's a teacher at my high school. I have to see her every day. FML
Today, I had to explain to my mother that it's inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML
Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
bettyc4 26
Stacy's mom has got it going on!
every1luvsboners 11
That's when you say "no shit, I've always had a thing for you. You won't walk right for two weeks after I get done with you." Maybe it'll work, maybe it won't, play the odds. Be a man, damnit!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (120)
bettyc4 26
Stacy's mom has got it going on!
thepunman 11
You went a foot to far
Hentai_fml 6
Hope he kept going then. ;)
Myo_fml 20
I just hope that Stacy sees that she's just not the girl for him.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
OP is the real life bad luck Brian!!
darkgodxvx 4
OP Should have answered "Yes I know; what's the problem?"
dinorider_fml 4
57-that can be applied to every OP, seeing how this is FML
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Except not every OP's name actually IS Brian... did none of you downvoters spot that?!
tsent8 15
She's all I want an I've waited or so long!
dabeast15 7
Good freaking song!!!
RoboCunnilingus 23
Wow, good catch, sir. I'm sure they did not. I know that I didn't.
Jonaahhhh 12
He knows it might be wrong, but he's in love with Stacy's mom.
EmoSunshine14 2
What? Everyone on here is Bad Luck Brian.
Hippohighasakite 21
Fountains of Wayne is glorious
santashugebag 6
Should have kept going.
SkoomaKi 28
Okay calm down there #32.
Eiregal2 10
Grrrrr, hard is good!
FML_Whale 18
102 - It's okay. It happens to everyone.
btstig 11
Her mom might want the dick!
honeybadgerr 9
Clearly not otherwise the mom wouldn't have said anything
onlychildFTW 34
Yeah she sooo wants it. That's why she told him it was her foot and not her daughters. What is the point of footsie anyways? I never got the point if it.
buckdharma 38
thats how you get your feet wet.
Inheritance 10
Turns sideways and looks her in the eye and winks, then precedes to say 'I know'
wickedninja918 1
ok just because of your bio *proceses
LetsRollOut 2
Proceeds**
Inheritance 10
I meant proceeds but my iPhone 5 decided not to get me correction options.
wickedninja918 1
and so did I my android segusted the wrong thing and my eyes swiched the words
BulldogHoops 14
It is in fact a word, but it was used incorrectly. "Precede" means to come before.
crimsonprodigy 15
Hello fellow grammar Nazi's.
Quinn32 16
54-I am failing to notice where anyone implied there was a spelling mistake but I am tired and could be wrong so please, enlighten me.
pickles1994 18
42 suggested* switched*
Inheritance 10
Ok I'm going to sum this up, since I'm sure everyone is getting annoyed. Precedes is infact a word, but I meant proceeded. So no one made any grammar errors, just wrong choice of words. Thumb me down ill accept them.
longchow 8
I thought incorrect usage of words was a grammar issue. Guess my grade school teachers taught me wrong... SHAME ON THEM! >=[
CharresBarkrey 16
42 - How can you possibly blame your horrid spelling on your phone when "proceses" isn't even a word. Either your phone has learned your terrible spelling habits and suggests your common misspellings, or it's making up completely new words (which, if I'm not mistaken, phone dictionaries only know REAL words)
Tzofi 11
Nazis* I had to.
IadamkI 3
*****.
domking1315 20
Whatd it say
Neligee 9
Such an embarrassing and awkward moment! >.
teresee 8
That's kinda the point of FML
easyprey 8
I met my "now ex" girlfriend that way :) she was flirting with this one guy in class and he tried playing footsies with her, yet it was me... We all had a good laugh and that's basically how we started dating.
TwitchingNebula 17
Cool story bro.
every1luvsboners 11
That's when you say "no shit, I've always had a thing for you. You won't walk right for two weeks after I get done with you." Maybe it'll work, maybe it won't, play the odds. Be a man, damnit!!
wickedninja918 1
yeah a single man idk any milf i wpuld let come between my and my gf
crimsonprodigy 15
And then you notice her husband, staring at you with intent to kill.
every1luvsboners 11
Wickedninja, shut up, idiot. Your girlfriend was on the corner last night selling her ass and telling everyone you're hung like a termite.
wickedninja918 1
18 just because that's what your girlfriend did, doesn't mean everyone's girlfriend does that
desoto96 9
Yea if he did that I don't think it would be a stare of intent. I think a straight up ass whopping would commence.
crimsonprodigy 15
25 - I imagine a threesome or even foursome would commence.
longchow 8
That would involve the daughter to be in a weird situation seeing bother her parents naked and doing something inappropriate...with her boyfriend. No one should ever want to be in that situation... Gross
sens3sfailing 25
And on top of it she would have to be okay with her boyfriend ******* her parents. Oh the joys of criticizing jokes made on an implausible premise. Not.
LO388 7
"Oh yeahhh"
loserman67 36
How soon after that did dad introduce his fist to your face?
boobs1234 5
Jajaja your right
bach2121 13
Thats super akward
newbiehere99 6
No, super awkward would've been the dad's foot.