Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
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Top comments
Weil 0
Owned.
Astroman129 7
Yeah, I hate when some people decide to make things a lot more depressing for no reason. It would be even worse if you had erectile dysfunction. =[
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Comments (124)
unfixie 0
im starting to believe that you're a woman - you talk like whiny woman. i don't want to argue with you... so you can say whatever you want! peace out! =)
theoldGP 0
wow lots of hate. let's clear this up - if she was serious: saying a guy can't keep his erection is about the same thing as saying to a girl her boobs are too small. on the other hand, i agree with #68. she was totally kidding and was trying to get him to have sex with her (as they were fooling around just before then) jesus..
hat_fml 0
sounds like a fake story.
DaniLand 0
Haha It sounds like something I would have thought and laughed at and then shook mt head and not said because I would be afraid it would be an eff my life moment for him. Funny tho she prolly should have kept it at a sly grin. No need to put his self esteem in jeopardy. Apparently its easy to do like your mom.
youreawhore 0
To the OP, I can't say I know what your reaction was, but I'm betting you laughed? You can't have taken something like that seriously :P It sounds like she was joking, or just teasing. And to the people who are telling him to get some humour, maybe he has some and that's why he posted a FML? Because he thought it would be funny? And to unfixie... what you've mentioned isn't equality :S Because then guys would have the right to tease girls about their body just like we do to guys. And we SHOULDN'T get all uppity about it. Females do tend to take things too seriously or read too much into it, but seriously if your boyfriend mentions your boobs are too small then laugh it off because he's the one who's got to deal with it. Same to guys. We all just got to relax about these things and let them slide sometimes.
ilovefmlife 0
I completely understand why she said that and why I know she wasn't joking. You sort of called her fat in an indirect way. "This is hard to maintain" basically translates to "your pretty heavy" you shouldn't of said that you probably made her self conscious about herself now.
convict617 0
Hhahah she burned you good. I would have burst out laughing if that were me, then bang her harder than ever before.
caitlinmarie 0
intresting how this guys fml moment is turning into a sexist debate...
geebee93 0
i dont get why that suckss..? its funny id laugh haa
shadow_moses 0
shes basically saying shes not good enough to hold your erection, so shes dissing her self