Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, I pushed all the way in. She said, "Stop teasing me, put everything in." FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML
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Top comments
jackaaa 0
Aww baby penis.
Puolukka 4
Maybe it was the first time for her to fool around with a guy like that period and she just didn't know what it's supposed to feel like/what it feels like when it's not hard?! She obviously has never touched a penis before...because even if it was pretty small you can still tell if the guy is hard or not... o.O
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Comments (196)
jackaaa 0
Aww baby penis.
Etherial 0
Baby penis trying to come out of shell.. Hahah XD My boyfriend can wear briefs AND jeans..and I can tell just by looking if he's hard or not. Poor OP.
brantzilch 0
haha
icall_BS 0
Can you guys even picture that? *puts hand on crotch and stares at OP* GET HARD FOR ME.
Hated_By_FML 0
ydi for having a small dicc
AA357 0
Cause we all care about your huge bf.
mochalatte 0
if she loves you, she'll get over it, and quickly. if she's a **** then forget it. and her.
luluk854ever 0
hah me too!
campbellshayla73 0
how does he desirve having a small penis it's sumthing you're born with no sumthin u can help
FantasticFin 0
#124 ew, just ew. as if you would have a boyfriend. do us all a favour and change your picture!!
IpeeINtheBIGstal 0
what?!!
spiderwolf 0
yeah it is
FailBear920 19
Your name is now Lil Wang!
ShadyFTW1 0
why is there a fat cow in your picture 124?
yashr123 0
why ..ur pro pic is the nastiest one in the world i no u dont have a bf which guy wuld be with u!
shizzle12 0
ahahahahahahahahahahahhahhahahah. baby penis.
xXCODGODXx 11
good one 142
Edie84 0
Lmfao
madaoxsan 9
yeah...wtf..that's hardly funny. that's his manhood she insulted. I invite the female posters to think about if they were sleeping with a guy and he begun to penetrate her and was like "wait...am I inside you??! it feels like I'm just rubbing in between your thighs..." Sorry OP.
julianna5782 12
wait... she's a **** if she wants dick she can feel? would you stay with some loose ass girl?
Knave 0
pwned!
frank_b102 9
Boned*
loopy_fml 0
teehee.
Puolukka 4
Maybe it was the first time for her to fool around with a guy like that period and she just didn't know what it's supposed to feel like/what it feels like when it's not hard?! She obviously has never touched a penis before...because even if it was pretty small you can still tell if the guy is hard or not... o.O
TWSSMoment 0
it pretty hard not to know when a guy is hard since it just stick up out of no where -.-
ContactSparrows 0
lol!!!!
Migole 36
I thought about that too...Well, at least, when he's wearing jeans. I remember when I was younger and was lying on top of my first real boyfriend (fully dressed, we were just watching a movie) and I had never seen or touched his penis. When I moved I could feel it under my belly and thought it wasn't hard (when it actually was :P). No I can tell of course, but if you have no experience with that stuff it can be hard (no pun intended).
Scotth901 22
Lol that joke was flaccid?
could_be_funny 0
ouch that sucks...ditto #1
Ldy_S_FTW 0
O mannn, that made me L O L.
rockinbecca2 4
I know I'm a girl but u hot
AsianCookie247 14
^ and you're not.
mai1808 0
haha. LOL
lesb_lv 0
agree with #4. Dont dump her. U might be her 1st....
fish1806 0
ouch!! life is hard, unlike your penis...
joce445 0
this is the best comment ever
j355ika 0
LOL FUNNY
nanaooze 1
Lol
bigcrazymike 6
"Get hard for me"? LOL! That's a stupid thing to say! What did she expect you to do...flex it?
cosmo780 0
guys can tense the blood flow in their dick making it more erect on cue or *flex* it
Nfabes1 5
nasty
coughyochick 7
That's how the male body works. Are you 8?
xxDefiantxx 0
156 Please explain how that works
DubstepMasta 18
I know what 156 is talking about, although that "flex" isnt easy to maintain doing,(i can do it for like a few seconds, not even) it doesnt have a real purpose, and i can do it while hard and not.