Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
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Top comments
Weil 0
Owned.
Astroman129 7
Yeah, I hate when some people decide to make things a lot more depressing for no reason. It would be even worse if you had erectile dysfunction. =[
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Comments (124)
yahtrick37 0
This is really coincidental. On this same day, I started going out with my current girlfriend. THe way it happened? We were outside and she was cold. So I hugged her to keep her warm. And she said, too bad we can't walk home like this. But I said, maybe we can, just put your feet on top of mine. So we walked like that for a little while. And then I walked over to this rock, sat her down on it, and asked her out. :) Sorry for the long story. I just got excited.
willowcatherine 0
This is me having no life, but I only made an account because I saw your comment, and I think that's adorable. =)
Damone 0
touche. you should come back with something like: "Well, i didn't have that problems with my ex" totally a joke
raisethebar 0
that's her fault.
cole86 0
viva viva viagraaaaaaaa! :)
Ashleigh96 0
I could sooo see that happening with my and my bf :P
xxxtrisxxx 2
HAA. this reminds me of my boyfriend and I. we do this all the time. xD right down to the punchline.. haha :) <3
rozieslothinator 0
u shouldve sed "thats not my fault"
Norther 1
Bahahahaha! Ah shit... now i spat cola all over my wall -.-
sammy259 3
how is that fml she obviosly doesnt care yur dick pokin her ass so she obviosly likes it use the cajones that i think god gave you
zeraphis 4
agreed!