Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
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Top comments
Weil 0
Owned.
Astroman129 7
Yeah, I hate when some people decide to make things a lot more depressing for no reason. It would be even worse if you had erectile dysfunction. =[
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Comments (124)
unfixie 0
see a DIRECT comment could hurt.. but i dont need to argue to anyone...for me, the girl was just kidding when she said that... some guys say that girls over-react too much! but HERE are SOME of THEM, over-reacting too :)
unfixie 0
agree with #60
ihpb09 2
#61 "they were talking about the erection --- and the ''joke'' was not directly pointed to the guy's penis!" do u read wut ur typing? a "joke" about an ERECTION is not related to the guys PENIS? where the hell else wud he be erect? his left nut?! "in comparison to a guy telling a girl to get a fucken boob job cuz your boobs are small!?!?" lemme turn that right around. -- in comparision to a girl telling a guy tht he cant keep up a ****** erection? yea. its just as bad. u screamed equality earlier but u clearly dont kno what that means. and yes, we say that women overreact, but u do it anyway. so if ur gunna do it, why cant we? ******* hypocrite.
unfixie 0
OKIE!! u win GUY... guy rules again.. don't call me a fucken hypocrite! im entitled to voice out my opinion! i don't need to argue with you.. you're so serious! suck your own dick you fag! :DDD
unfixie 0
other than everything, i still think they're a cute couple ... and i think they should keep the jokin around and sex in their relationship :) and just laugh and not take things seriously. key.
Flying_Pink_Lulz 0
What is wrong with you? OBVIOUSLY she wanted you to go "oh yea?" and then demonstratively try and prove her wrong JEEZ! You made a perfectly good sex-starter sound like an insult!
unfixie 0
OMG thank HEAVENS! somebody understands what some of us were trying to explain!!! thanks # 68 for making that clear.. i can't believe somebody really wants to argue and go emo drama ! =D
ihpb09 2
@ #66 - nobody said u cant voice out ur opinion. i took it as a joke too until you started sayin "equality". calling you a ****** hypocrite is the truth. dont like it? well im entitled to my own opinion too, so dont tell me what i can or cannot call you, especially when its the truth. TRUE equality means the SAME RULES FOR EVERYONE, not "i can complain cuz im a woman and you cant cuz ur a guy". and i deeply resent the "guy wins again" comment.. yea make me out to sound like a sexist why dont you, just cuz ur probably a ****** highschool dropout who cant even pick up a goddamn dictionary. **** YOU.
Silhouette_fml 0
She was probably joking.
ihpb09 2
#71 - she probably was, but some people get every chance to be a feminist asshole when they get it. goddamn hypocrites.