Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the orthodontist. As the lady was clipping my brackets, she missed and clipped my gums instead. She looked at me and said, "Oh sorry, you're bleeding really badly. See, I got these fake nails put on and I guess I'm just not used to them. Let me try again." She missed. FML
Today, I went to my new dentist to get my teeth cleaned. He kept getting distracted, causing him to repeatedly stab me in the gums. He then had the nerve to tell me that I need to brush more, due to how I was bleeding just from his "routine examination". FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine check-up, and halfway through the appointment, the dentist exclaimed, "Oops!" Turns out, he accidentally glued my lips together while fixing a tiny chip in my front tooth. I spent the next two hours communicating through exaggerated facial expressions and hand gestures. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. She had a tool that sucks up saliva, and put it in my mouth. She told me to close my mouth, and I did. Turns out she forgot to turn it on, causing my saliva to go all over my face. I had to sit like that for the rest of the visit. FML
Today, at the orthodontist, the nurse was checking my teeth. She asked me a question while her finger was in my mouth, and when I stupidly tried to reply, I bit her finger. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML
Today, I went to the dentist to get a cavity filled. The numbing medication didn't work, so I felt everything. I was in so much pain that I accidentally bit down on the dentist's finger, causing him to yell in agony. Now, I have to find a new dentist. FML
Today, at the dentist, the new, rather airy assistant went to prep me for an extraction. She began pulling on something in my mouth, and a moment later, I felt intense pain and then the wetness of blood. She was trying to pull out "that weird wire thing". In other words, my permanent retainer. FML
Today, my dentist pulled the wrong tooth. FML
Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML
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Top comments
luciejay 0
geez, if you have calculus on your teeth that's a really serious problem. but if it gets to the point that you have trigonometry on your teeth, you may need dentures.
Witchcraft_fml 5
If she pokes your gum again, violently jerk your head up and smack her in the nose, and claim the sharp pain surprised you. But no, really, give her a dirty look. Passive-aggressive glare vibes - looks that can kill.
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Comments (113)
firebird94 0
gotta love them dentists
jackkerouc9 0
was she british? Maybe that is the problem with the Brits and their dental care, just keep forgetting their glasses.
lahp 0
actually British having bad teeth is just a stereotype we actually have better dental care then most countries... and its dead cheap ;) thank you National Health Service. we also have great hygiene unlike you lot :) ... so go die please thank you
americayay 0
It was a rude stereotype, but I'm not seeing how we have bad hygiene. No self control, making us all fat, yes, but we still bathe.
lahp 0
i was just talking bout general arse holes not americans
abcdefg52 0
Why would you ask if she's british, when he's from Norway? Tsk. Dumme amerikanere. Awesome at du er norsk, forresten .D
suaveneanderthal 0
she probably meant her safety glasses.
FarSide 23
What do you expect for free health care? A Dentist that can see??
Ox_Baker 0
Hmmmm... Then again, maybe I won't go with that public option.
godsrightnutsack 0
FYL
cyberhoy 3
ever thought that British having bad teeth was not due to Dental Care but due to genetically bad teeth? You can't disprove that sterotype by claiming to have better dantal care. oh well and i also though the OP was british at first when i read the line "She took ages" a very british thing to say something i would expecct that fat english comedian to say I forget his name I'm Canadian btw. and what they hell is this about assholes having bad hygene? makes no sence. If you are bleeding you're not doing a good job of brushing your gums
kppadgett 0
that's what you get for living in a country with socialist healthcare.
dragonaair 5
'she took ages' is apparently a British term now, according to 87?
Overlord247 20
87, the reason for the British bad dental hygiene stereotype is because the British aren't as obsessed with keeping their teeth unnaturally white as the Americans are. And it also says in the FML that the reason OP's gums were bleeding was because the dentist kept stabbing them with her instruments.
Julianneisasmurf 0
hei du er jo norsk :D men herregud jeg får vondt i tennene mine av å høre dette... æsj, som om tannlegeskrekken ikke er fæl nok fra før...
gregthestrange 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
listen OP, you fuckstick, don't bitch and moan about dental care. At least you can afford it. Whenever I go to the dentist, I couldn't care less if they cut up my gums a bit, or even a lot. At least I won't have to worry about having my teeth coated in plaque and calculus so badly that they turn yellow. Grow a pair, please
medfly 2
the OP is from Norway, he doesn't have to "afford" it. besides, we have perfectly private oral medicine here and something like getting your teeth cleaned is within in the reach of anyone that cares strongly enough for it. people who don't would rather save the money, though.
luciejay 0
geez, if you have calculus on your teeth that's a really serious problem. but if it gets to the point that you have trigonometry on your teeth, you may need dentures.
Lordlucian 0
If you brush daily you shouldn't have any more than a little algebra on the gums
tgd4444 9
wouldnt have made a diffe4rence even with glases on
dacho 7
Shit, I can feel your pain.
sskarma23 9
Woah they have in school dentists in Norway! Just kidding that's ******* stupid
Witchcraft_fml 5
If she pokes your gum again, violently jerk your head up and smack her in the nose, and claim the sharp pain surprised you. But no, really, give her a dirty look. Passive-aggressive glare vibes - looks that can kill.
stereoskyline_fml 0
That's what you get from using the dentist at your school. This must be from somewhere in Europe.
Stetrain 0
Lots of assumptions in these comments about the school dentist and "zomg socialism." I most definitely live in the USA and my university has free on-campus dental and medical services. Maybe everyone is assuming that the person was in middle or high school because they themselves are?
arsenicstandard 0
Duh, you idiot. The post has a citation that say the poster was from Oslo, Norway. You know, in EUROPE!
Stetrain 0
I realize that this person is from "EUROPE", my reference was to everyone replying with some form of "You must not be from America because I'm from America and I don't have a school dentist." That's a very narrow-minded way to look at things and it seems pretty common among some of the posters here.
Mythic_fml 0
OH My Deity.
Tungmup 0
"She used ages trying to clean out my teeth." What is an ages?
onyxindigo 0
She 'used ages' ? Learn to English man
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Is your Norwegian perfect? If it's not, it's a bit unfair to assume that the (Norwegian) OP's English should be perfect, too.
randomdude1234 0
I was born in Norway and lived there some. I've been living in America for the past 15 years going back frequently. Most Norwegian english is excellent. Small mistakes happen but they are rare.
abcdefg52 0
She used ages. You can't say that? o.O I really thought you could =$
abcdefg52 0
You say used and not took in danish, and I think in Norwegian too, so I guess that's where it slipped. Hun brugte år på det.. Hun tog år om det.. Mja..
_whatever_77 0
Ages means she took forever. (Who wouldn't possibly understand this?) A Dentist in Schools? YDI for having a "school dentist" in your country... and actually going to her. WTF..... And brush your damn teeth 2 times everyday and wouldn't need to deal with that shit. Does that bullshit Universal Healthcare make people even more lazy and dumb than they already are? Ignorant bastards... the Americana who want it are lazy ignorant shit-for-brains.
Intoxicunt 6
They understood that part, but the phrase is "took ages" not "used ages".
Grotesque 0
Seriously? I brush my teeth regularly and I still bleed. It's because they're poking SHARP METAL OBJECTS into your SOFT SQUISHY GUMS. You do the math.
donut_gurl 8
wow your an idiot! thats all i have to say to u