Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML
Today, a man tried to rob the store I work at. Before the guy was taken by the cops, he complained to my manager for "unfriendly behavior". He took it seriously and bitched me out for not providing "quality service" to our customers. FML
Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML
Today, I confronted my boss for his inadequate contribution to our work. He accepted his inadequacy and apologized for not doing enough. He now expects me to work on everything single-handedly, since he has already clarified his inadequacy. FML
Today, a customer yelled, "I'll bash your fuckin' face in, cunt" at me at 9:30am because we don't serve the lunch menu at breakfast time. Yes, the 15-year-old girl in high school is responsible for McDonald's entire menu. FML
Today, I was told by my manager to make sure the supervisor on shift does his job. Last month I was told I couldn't be a supervisor. Apparently I can supervise someone who earns more than I do though. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a couple of days off to recover from a nasty ear infection which has left me hard of hearing. However, he didn't understand why that would affect my job and refused. I work in a telephone call centre. FML
Today, I worked in a shoe store. As I was removing the shoes off an older man I felt a squish, and pulled back my hand to see brown and yellow. The man then looked at me and said, "Looks like I missed a spot." Dog crap. FML
Today, I found out that my boss of 2 years not only doesn't know my name, but calls me "Jew hair" behind my back because of my natural ringlets. This man determines all of my career progression. FML
Today, my professor let a guy into my philosophy class 30 minutes late because his excuse was, "Time is just an illusion." This is the same professor that kicked me out of the classroom for being 2 minutes late. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me for being 3 hours late. I was late because I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. Apparently, breaking my arm is not a good enough excuse. FML
Today, at my place of work in a fast-food restaurant, a customer called in and bitched at me that her warm food was weirdly cold. That is, after she drove 45 minutes from the restaurant to her house. FML
Today, a customer called the Chinese restaurant where I work and complained about her takeout order not including donuts. After informing her that we don't have them, she started to curse at me while citing the website as proof. She thought wontons were synonymous with donuts. FML
taylorbrown97 tells us more.
Hi guys, OP here! To clarify, by donuts she meant those "Chinese" sugar donuts that you can get at cheap buffets (at least where I live, in rural Ohio). Instead, we are relatively more of a high end Chinese restaurant, a family owned place that could be compared to PF Changs. So there is no way we would have those cheap donuts anyways! But for whatever reason she thought that fried wontons were the same things as those fried sugar donuts. She was incredibly upset and basically demanded that we give her the fried donuts that we supposedly offered on our website. Basically, working as a server/host in a restaurant is fun when you get to deal with unreasonable people! Thanks for the publish!
Today, just before a job interview, I coughed so violently that I lost my voice. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said, "Never take a shit in this place. Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML
Today, I lost all of my male friends at work. Why? The new girl has my same interests and a prettier face. FML
Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out, "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by, "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML
Today, a customer yelled at me because the cherry pie he bought had cherries in it, and he wanted a refund. FML
Today, the phone lines at work have been cutting out in the middle of calls. I'm a receptionist at an animal hospital. I now have less than two minutes to figure out what's wrong with a client's pet and how best to schedule them before I become "That rude bitch who hung up on me." FML
Today, a customer complained that his earphones stopped properly functioning even though he bought them less than a month ago. After checking them, I realised that there was so much earwax caked into them that it affected the sound quality. FML
iGagged tells us more.
iGagged 4
Hi everyone, OP here ! Made an account just to follow up. 1) No, sadly he didn't suspect a thing and didn't bother taking a close look at his earphones. 2) It was awkward indeed. Very, very awkward. He was nice though, he apologised and immediately left. Hopefully he'll check his earphones next time. And thank you for commenting on my username haha !
Today, on my second day as a lifeguard, I locked myself out of the pool. My angry guests and I had to wait for 45 minutes for my manager to arrive and unlock the gate. FML
Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML
Today, I had to write my own notice for enforced redundancy because my boss just went on a two week vacation. He told me to just forge his signature and that, if I wouldn't do it, he'd just make something up to dismiss me on codes of conduct. FML
Ouka_fml tells us more.
Ouka_fml 7
OP here :) First of all, thank you all for your advice! I'm afraid though, that it's a rather small company (around 10 full time employees) so we don't have an HR departement. I'm not sure about the difference between "being fired" and "being laid off", but my situation could be described as: "being fired because my company decided to save some money and that they didn't need someone on the position I'm currently working at." Here in Germany we get ALG (Arbeitslosengeld, roughly translates to "unemployment money") for a year after working for at least two years. It's around 60% of the persons original salary. The catch is: you only get it, if you're fired or quit for (very) good reasons (harassment, threats, etc.). If you quit without one of those reasons you don't get anything for 1-3 months. Also you don't get it for 3 months if you're fired because of anything you did (stealing, forgery...) So it's a tricky situation right now. I wrote my boss an email explaining most of the things you stated (that I feel uncomfortable forging his signature, for example) and asking whether it wasn't possible for me to just write the notice and have him sign it as soon as he's back. This way I have to set the date back, because I can only be fired with a 2 months' notice which isn't stricly legal, but he agreed to it. He isn't really that bad of a person, actually that whole idea came from HIS boss and he was just the unlucky messenger. So yeah, I'm going to write the notice and put it on his desk to sign once he gets back and hope, the whole mess turns out alright.
Today, my boss admitted she's having an affair. She's married to my brother. FML
Today, one of my regulars came up to my car in the parking lot. We talked through the window while I put on my makeup. He then asked for a hug because he won't be in for two weeks. I obliged and he was kind enough to slide his hand between my legs. He then gave me $50 not to tell his wife. FML
witchybaby89 tells us more.
witchybaby89 16
To answer a lot of questions, I'm a truck stop waitress not a prostitute or stripper. He's a truck driver who has been a faithful customer for two years and has been handsy before but never to this extent. I took the money to my manager and they're looking over video of the parking lot and my restaurant.
Today, at work, I dropped two bottles of wine on the floor. Unbelievably, they both didn't break. That, however, did not stop my boss from taking a few points away on my evaluation. My $3 raise is now reduced to $0.25. FML
A1NoSauce tells us more.
A1NoSauce 17
OP here! Just a follow up on what happened. Yesterday, about 2 weeks after the initial incident my regional manager came in. After explaining the situation and having them check my records(tardiness, productivity, etc.), he also was flabbergasted as to how I wasn't able to get the raise I deserved. He then dragged my boss off into his office to have a very stern conversation with my boss, he then announced to the whole staff that my boss would no longer be working at our store, and we'd have a new one transferring in very soon. I was overjoyed. But, not as much as when my RM pulled me off to the side again and told me that instead of getting the regular $3 raise, they'd triple it instead. I got a raise of about $10 which still keeps a bright smile on my face even while I write this. Thank you for all the comments! Although, I'm not sure why most of you thought I was female. :p
Today, I tried to work on my attitude at work. People say I'm mean, so I tried to be nice all day. Apparently I'm now condescending. FML
Today, while serving a customer, she told me: "God made you a working class citizen so you could serve! If God wanted you to go to college, he would have made sure you were able to go!" FML
Hyenayena tells us more.
Hyenayena 27
I tried explaining that, but she said that "if you were meant to go to college, your life would lead to it naturally. Your life has led you to be part of the working class, see?" So pretty much: if I'm not a rich person, I better not even think about going to college.
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