Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out, "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by, "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss said to me: 'You know, our competitors are also hiring!' FML
Today, I addressed my district manager as "Dude." FML
Today, at work, I casually mentioned I was meeting some friends for dinner. My co-worker's response was, "You have friends?!" FML
Today, I went for a lunch interview for my dream job. The interview was great and at the end, I tried to seal the deal by complimenting my future boss. I said, "You're really hardworking. Do you always work on a Saturday?" He looked at me, smiled and then wrote something down. Today's Friday. FML
Today, I was so bored at my job as a receptionist that I actually got excited when the phone rang. FML
Today, at work, I was standing around, doing nothing. When my coworker pointed this out, I laughed and said, "It's okay, I'm training for a supervisor position!" Guess who was standing right behind me. FML
Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML
Today, the coworker I've had a crush on for the past few months asked me if I was busy Friday night. I was so excited, I immediately replied, "I thought you'd never ask!" He gave me a funny look and said, "Good, because I need you to take my shift." FML
Today, I had an appraisal meeting with The Boss. She raved and gushed and told me what a great job I was doing. Then she said, "Well done, Eric!" Eric isn't my name. She froze, opened a new file, and told me my actual appraisal, which was the complete opposite of everything she had just said. FML
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
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Top comments
RickySleeves 20
That's actually fricken funny
TheTardis123 11
Glad to see you enjoy work. Not everyone can be happy with what they do. :)
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Comments (56)
jimmer23 21
Sounds like your foot wasn't the only thing going in your mouth! But seriously, everyone says embarrassing stuff like that. Just laugh it off.
keiNan_fml 35
is your name Jeff??
mmmxr 11
Is this supposed to be a 22 jump street reference?
RickySleeves 20
That's actually fricken funny
TheTardis123 11
Glad to see you enjoy work. Not everyone can be happy with what they do. :)
xdafuze 12
Did the DM laugh too?
cooltatgar 31
District Manager: *Giggles silently*
MrConcise 35
This is the best example of speaking before you think. You may be embarrassed, but you should do this more often for the sake of people around you. "That's what she said" needs to come back in full force.
Miss_Whipped 43
That's what she said.
Pingvinai 37
At least there's a sense of humor in your workplace!
abbyade 21
At least you enjoy your work, that can't be said for a lot of people ;)
chuka81 27
I'm sure you do, you dirty little *****.