Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML
Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML
Today, l was crouched on the ground in the doorway at a haunted mansion. It's part of my job here to scare the people passing by. A 12 year-old girl walked by, I grabbed her leg, and she kicked me in the face. FML
Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML
Today, I was working as a clown (Pennywise) in a haunted maze. A bunch of drunk guys came in and started breaking props. I decided to stay still and follow through with the scare. I ended up getting kicked in a very sensitive area. The security guard just laughed. FML
Today, I was walking home from my acting gig at a haunted hayride. Even after spending lots of time washing the fake blood off my hands and face, I looked like I'd murdered someone. Perhaps that's why an officer stopped me and questioned me about a stabbing that happened earlier tonight. FML
Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML
Today, I was walking to my friend's Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML
Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML
Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML
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Top comments
ChloeRattlehead 22
Well, we know now that we can trust those cops to save us during the apocalypse.
oyeh 19
I thought they were supposed to teach Common Sense at the academy? Guess they forgot too.
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Comments (93)
BananaCoconutty 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
File a report saying that the cops made you all bloody, and sue them to make bare cash!
Hoopachi 19
Or fail horribly because there's no proof and get fined/jail-time for false accusations.
brenton490 19
Actually just bodily fluid is enough base ground to sue. No different then getting in a car accident. If bodily fluids leave the body such as blood,throw up, pee , and poop lots of money to be made there.
peacheso 31
#1 and #51, you're what's wrong with the system.
ZeusBeDubsteppin 24
#51 "yeah they made me soil my undies :(" judge: case dismissed... the blood is fake and you cant sue them for scaring you. the police should have stopped them and asked a few questions before just arresting, but i feel like there's more to this. also depends where this took place and what the threat level is
JohnForge 13
They held him at "gunpoint" meaning his life was threatened.
oyeh 19
I thought they were supposed to teach Common Sense at the academy? Guess they forgot too.
vikky538 29
Thats not in the training books it seems
RayneSmytson 24
They never seemed to care before? It's a miracle he wasn't shot.
psychopolarbear 28
If common sense was half as common as the name makes it sound, the world would be a drastically different place.
blackman100 20
*to. I guess they forgot TO teach English TOO.
LetsNotForget 22
Maybe bring a spare change of clothes to work, so you can change there. :) ?
WellThatWasRude 27
Oh, Arkansas...
Preposterous 8
Story of my life...
ChloeRattlehead 22
Well, we know now that we can trust those cops to save us during the apocalypse.
Tthug 34
No we can't. They didn't even single tap! Failures.
woainishamu 21
As long as their names start with Rick. No Shane.
Hieroglyph 13
They got close enough to put hand cuffs on him, perhaps those poorly trained ones who shoot first would be better
RuBloKon 15
#25 I thought Zombieland rule no2 was always double tap?
StrangeClouds 6
HAHAHAHAHAHA. This comment made me lol
buckstop1 37
#66 you're right, but he was trying to say that the cops didn't even make the first shot.
EpicJackman 12
Obviously, they were protecting the world from the inevitable zombie apocalypse. YDI for being a zombie.
ilanie04 16
racist af
Cads1 24
Do you see where you went wrong there?
TheRugMan 17
Man, you must be dead after a day like that
BlackbishopTWG 6
too perfect
juturnaamo 29
Wouldn't a blood covered person be as likely to have been injured as to have been dangerous?
MrConcise 35
At first I read this as you getting mugged and stripped of all your cool zambie clothes.