Today, I lost all of my male friends at work. Why? The new girl has my same interests and a prettier face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to a female friend of mine, because I thought they would get along. Apparently they get along better than I expected; she dumped me for the other girl. FML
Today, I went downtown with my friends. A group of guys came up to us and started hitting on everyone except me. Then one of them said, "Do you girls hang out with her to make yourselves look better?" FML
Today, I walked into work and overheard three of my female coworkers talking and laughing about how ugly my face is, and how they’re sorry for whoever has to marry me. They went on to name the coworkers they actually would sleep with. I’m 25 and I've still never had a girlfriend. Thanks for the self-esteem boost. FML
Today, my boss fired me because I look like her ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, there's a new freshman at my school that looks exactly like me. Whenever we see her, my friends shout "Twinzies!" I don't have anything against her, but I'm bummed because I'm a male senior. FML
Today, my boss told me I got my new job because she rejected candidates that seemed "too confident" or "too pretty." FML
Today, one of my female friends decided she wants a relationship with my ex. I told her I was fine with it because we've been apart for years and have been friends ever since. She then made him chose between being friends with me and having her as a girlfriend. I just lost two of my few friends. FML
Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML
Today, at work, a table of girls complained to the manager about me. The complaint? "He's not hot enough to work here. We want a sexy server." The manager agreed with them and sent me home. I might lose my job because of a table of shallow women. FML
Today, I made the mistake of uttering the phrase "I’m not like other girls" at work when discussing how I prefer staying in and reading over going out to a bar. Now none of the other girls in the office will talk to me and are calling me a "pick-me." FML
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Top comments
littlekellilee 45
If this girl has the same interests as you, make friends with her. Then everyone can hang out together.
daffodilsea 11
Don't let it get you down OP! They're not worth your friendship if that's the case.
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Comments (91)
daffodilsea 11
Don't let it get you down OP! They're not worth your friendship if that's the case.
mwali02 32
Agreed! Don't let a negative self image get in the way! You may make a new best friend, which means more fun for everyone! The new girl probably just wants to fit in, too. :)
thisguy22 33
That sounds entirely too rational to ever work properly. It was good in theory though.
wRIPPERw 23
They're assholes.
dcam13 19
sorry, that's definitely a dick move. it's pretty easily explainable tho. guys are almost exclusively friends/hang out with girls we either want to or just would sleep with. it may be disgusting/weird to some but it's just a fact (YouTube "why men and women cant be friends"). we involuntarily tend to think about sex a lot more than women. so I'm assuming you're not very close with these guys if they instantly ditched you for the new girl (still a dick move). and i still definitely feel for you but, every straight guy, myself included, would be lying if said that wasn't at least generally the case. and luckily once her "new girl" phase ends you'll have your nice (but probably kinda shallow) guy friends back.
Aimeejasmine 15
Who would want them back as friends? And by the way I seriously think you underestimate how much girls think about sex too, only thing is we're taught to be ashamed on being vocal about it, or else we'd be called a ***** or some misogynistic slur. Those guys could not have made it clearer how they see women, if they're going to treat a friend that way how do they treat strangers.
RedPillSucks 33
mature men and women can always be friends without there having to be some sexual tension.
bethrh 49
You deserve better than shallow friends like them anyway. Sorry OP!
TheSgLeader 21
They weren't your friends from the beginning. Don't be upset. You'll find true friends who love you for who you are. FYL
CanadiAnM8 24
**** em', if they really cared they'd actually stick with you. To toy with them you should dress very, loose. Then when they try to talk to you shun them.
ohSNAPyall 27
You'll look desperate for attention if you do that.
Rawrshi 25
Okay, but why is wanting attention a bad thing? We all want attention so why do we pretend we don't or discourage others from seeking it? ... is it a plot so that the people discouraging it can get more for themselves?
JayGatsby 25
wanting attention is fine, being desperate for attention is not, because it comes off as clingy.
ohSNAPyall 27
Solid points, 28.
SystemofaBlink41 27
Not everybody. Most of the time, I'm not looking for or want attention, to be honest.
Rawrshi 25
Key word being most, 70. Paying attention isn't just looking or talking to you directly though. Paying attention when you talk instead of pretending you aren't there, not just running into you when their walking path goes through you, if you hurt yourself or choke - helping you, the list goes on. Basically anything that isn't flat out ignoring your existence regardless of the situation. Those are all acts of attention. Denying that you want or need those isn't being honest.
littlekellilee 45
If this girl has the same interests as you, make friends with her. Then everyone can hang out together.
thawny_fml 21
Better yet, make friends with her and convince her all the males at work are just scumbags after only sex.
mds9986 24
I think OPs point is that all her coworkers are shallow douchebags who stopped being friends with her because the new girl is prettier. Maybe those aren't the people OP wants to be friends with anyway.
Lostboy717 11
When I read this I thought of the Mexican music from the El Paso tortilla commercials
ZombieSazza 34
Those guys are not your friends. Why not befriend the girl? You might get along.
RedPillSucks 33
And have sweet hot lesbian sex?
ohSNAPyall 27
This is a great idea. And I'll bet the guys would still want to be your friend too. At the moment, they're just stepping all over each other trying to get a date with the new girl.
tintarroja 31
No need of superficial people!
appletreee 30
Why not be friends with the girl? She seems to be just like you! No worries, OP, men don't always use their heads.
cadillacgal79 32
Well they do just not the one on their shoulders.
thatoneevilfuy 6
How do you know what men do? You are not a man therefore you are in no position to say what a man would or wouldn't do
Aimeejasmine 15
Oh chill out meninist they were talking about men such as those in the FML, don't take a comment personally if it's clearly not about you.
Snaxia 12
Typical. Always have their brains in their pants.
jerome74 1
girls do it too. I speak from experience