Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML
Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML
Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML
Today, I turned on my A/C for the first time in a couple of months. A family of ginormous cockroaches climbed out of the air vent and a few clumps of dead cockroaches fell to the ground. FML
Today, I was cooking dinner when I noticed a cockroach on the kitchen counter. I reflexively tried to spray it with what I had to hand, which was window cleaner, but it seems to have pissed it off and flew right at me instead. I screamed and ran out of the kitchen, leaving the roach in charge. FML
Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML
Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML
Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML
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Top comments
Tarlachia 33
Am I the only one going "You heard a creak, then the giant cockroach landed on you? That's one heavy cockroach!"
Schala360 27
nope nope nope nope nope nope
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Comments (74)
hantu69 22
Better check if hear something next time
assassinbanana0 20
Good first comment, really.
ProfessorMctitie 20
umm... what?
mds9986 24
Good 16th comment, really.
WCARlover 35
Cockroach just thought you needed a study buddy
stingray112 24
Op I think you mean your house WAS old bc surely by now it's burned to the ground.
Schala360 27
nope nope nope nope nope nope
nikkipettyfer 24
I'm sorry, maybe get those vents checked out!
gaydragon 13
It decided to drop in for a visit i guess
Shadowvoid 33
I hate roaches, every time it rains they like to come into the garage. I have a dedicated flip flop to deal with the surge of roaches.
Brandi_Faith 34
Are there any sprays you can get (like a Raid type product) that you can spray around your house? I know there's one for spiders. Maybe you could get one for roaches if you have to deal with them a lot? I couldn't imagine having roaches around (I've never actually seen one in person thank goodness), I'd scream like the little girl I am! :)
lovelockdown23 23
you've never seen a roach before? I envy your life. however, I do picture you living in a bubble now.
concom 9
Now I have nightmares!
The_register 2
well to be fair........ it is Australia you're in
Brandi_Faith 34
What's with Australia and spiders and roaches and bugs?? My brother went to Australia for college and he said there were roaches like there were ants in other places. They were everywhere outside and he even had them in his apartment. So gross! *shudder*
annarcheer 19
They say everything is bigger in Australia.
I_Bite 22
Bet you've never seen a Cockamouse either ;) A roach bit my friend once.. didn't even know they could do that! Aussy Aussy Aussy!!
Welshite 40
Aww, he was only trying to help you study your entomology.
Tarlachia 33
Am I the only one going "You heard a creak, then the giant cockroach landed on you? That's one heavy cockroach!"
annarcheer 19
Honestly you just made my day.
Enslaved 38
I pictured OP having a place like "Joe's Apartment." Probably 30 more roaches still hiding up there!
RedPillSucks 33
I was thinking the same thing. Australia has giganto-roaches
MrHi7093 3
Dude, he's in Australia, what do you expect. Our whole country is insane...
_heavenlysasa 16
I was thinking the same thing.