Intimacy

Hey guys, OP here! I have no idea how this login system works so I think I ended up creating a new profile. Anyway, for now I'm better, thank you so much for your support! As for a more permanent solution, fortunately I'm moving out next year to go to college, and so I'll be able to sort myself out with medication then. I'm honestly super surprised that my FML ended up published - thanks again for your sympathies!

These jugs don't belong here...

By Busty - 21/11/2017 06:00

Today, Walmart was out of quart milk jugs except for one. When I went to grab it, I had to practically climb into the fridge. My boobs got stuck on the shelf on the way out, and it took a solid two minutes to wiggle my way free. I had an audience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 840

You deserved it 1 036

By HousemateHorror - 20/11/2017 19:00

Today, I walked into my dorm to find the guy I have feelings for sleeping with my roommate. I signed a lease with them for next year and can't back out now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 273

You deserved it 586

By Can’t Cope - 19/11/2017 19:00

Today, my fiancé is going to Planned Parenthood to see if he got herpes from a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 673

You deserved it 548

Sexy back

By Anonymous - 19/11/2017 06:00

Today, in the middle of sex, I was desperate for a fart but tried to hold it in so we weren't forced to stop halfway. Unfortunately, I accidentally let the fart escape, along with runny diarrhea, all over my husband's legs and groin. The smell caused him to vomit all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 585

You deserved it 2 873

By Sariitaa_fml - 18/11/2017 19:00

Today, I was in the romantic section of a book store making fun of the titles. Thinking my friend was behind me, I read in a sexy voice, “Sleeping with a Stranger” and turned to laugh only to find the 70-year-old store manager smiling and winking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 864

You deserved it 1 541

By Justmyluck - 15/11/2017 06:00

Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, “I need to check something down there.” I asked what but he just smiled and showed me the piece of gum he was chewing. He took a look and left to get the scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 975

You deserved it 886

Classy.

By klifestyle2012 - 12/11/2017 19:00

Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 175

You deserved it 344

By Rainydaze - 11/11/2017 05:00 - United States - Hillsboro

Today, the guy I hooked up with last summer who was "going through a divorce" welcomed his new baby with his loving wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 224

You deserved it 1 875

New horizons

By itsalwaysme - 09/11/2017 06:00

Today, after recently rekindling an old relationship, I discovered a whole new world when I found his secret Twitter account. Apparently he's now a cross-dressing, submissive, financially dominated "slave" for doms online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 060

You deserved it 845

recoils in horror

By Anonymous - 07/11/2017 06:00

Today, I am violently allergic to my boyfriend's new hand cream. I know this because after last night's quickie on the sofa, I now have a rash all over my skin and weeping sores inside my vagina and around my bum hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 779

You deserved it 886

Kinky.

By Domo731 - 05/11/2017 19:00 - United States - Johnson City

Today, I drank from a soda can that was on my floor. Unfortunately, it was my boyfriend’s pee. He was too lazy to go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 356

You deserved it 4 985

By Anonymous - 05/11/2017 15:00

Today, my husband accused me of cheating on him and demanded to look through my phone. When he found nothing, he admitted to having his first gay experience this weekend and just wanting something to “even the field” before telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 566

You deserved it 443

By "missunknowno9" - 04/11/2017 06:46

Today, it was my best friend's birthday, so we all went out for drinks. She had a little too much and needed to be picked up so I opened her phone and called "bae." That's when I found out that not only does my husband have a second phone, but he's also cheating on me with my "best friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 594

You deserved it 551

missunknowno9 tells us more.

missunknowno9 8

Monday 30 October 2017 17:47

1. Because I wasn't cutting my night short, because we have children and we finally had a babysitter for once. So I was enjoying my night. 2. I chose "Bae," because that's generally what someone puts in their phone as their significant other... ?