Today, my husband has had a low sex drive for a while now. I've been trying all sorts of things to pique his desire. Turns out that a conversation about Neil deGrasse Tyson was all I ever needed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after several grueling weeks at the gym, my moribund sex drive suddenly kicked into high gear. All I want is for my husband to fuck me senseless, but he's now convinced I'm just trying to butter him up before dropping a bombshell. FML
Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML
Today, I realized how low my husband's libido has gotten over the years. He has zero intention of trying anything to fix it, no matter how hard I try. I don't even think I'm horny anymore as much as intimately touched starved. He ran his hand down my back in passing and I almost burst into tears. FML
Today, after years of my husband letting himself go and our sex life dying a slow, painful death, he's finally gotten my hints and started exercising and eating right, and he looks amazing. But now he has no sex drive and says, "I'm getting older, there are more important things to me than busting nuts all day!" FML
Today, my husband whined that our sex life is terrible. I agree. I wish he'd stop killing the mood with crappy pickup lines and crude innuendos every time I act even slightly receptive towards him. It's like he turns into a 14 year-old the second I kiss him. FML
Today, literally the only thing that now motivates my husband to do anything is sex. Not food, money, humour, or anything. Once he’s had sex, he’ll do anything I ask him to for about 8 hours, then he turns back into a depressing, shiftless lump who either goes to work, sits in his chair, or sleeps. FML
Today, I figured out the best way to endure my wife's lack of sex drive: whenever she complains, I lose the urge myself. Works like a charm, because she complains all the time. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, my husband has lost over a hundred pounds. I'm happy for him, but now he has an incredibly high sex drive and keeps asking for sex almost every day, sometimes twice a day. FML
Today, my husband gave our son the sex talk. Maybe it’s because we never talk openly about it, but my husband is into some racy shit. FML
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Top comments
Glowworm56 27
Hey, science can be sexy!
saffy66 34
Well he’s an awesome guy - I was lucky enough to meet him last year. But yeah - FYL.
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Comments (23)
saffy66 34
Well he’s an awesome guy - I was lucky enough to meet him last year. But yeah - FYL.
Sheepiebeepie 26
First read this as you knowing her husband, made it hilarious.
manb91uk 22
Well you know, when you need an aphrodisiac, you should always turn to black
sirrubberduckie 37
I voted YDI, because Tyson should have been your first thought.
Glowworm56 27
Hey, science can be sexy!
RichardPencil 32
Science!!! Get him a WWNdGTD bracelet! Once you got him fired up, did the rest qualify for a “...For People In a Hurry” book?
Rabite 28
Trial-and-error takes it's while.
Lobby_Bee 18
Science gets me hard too.
DanielleinDC 34
Hey, now you've found something that works!
pjsr 33
Imagine what a Stephen Hawking video would do!
pjsr 33
I guess you need to work some science pickup lines: ‘Hey Guy, how’d you like to send an exploratory probe into my black hole?’ ‘Let’s make our own big bang tonight’ ‘I’m drawn to you like gravity - not like the gravity on the moon or even the earth, but like the gravity on Saturn’