Today, my girlfriend told me that I have “too much foreskin” and that I’d need to get circumcised if we were going to stay together. I’m already circumcised. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend gave me a choice of having a circumcision or breaking up with her. Either way I'm going to lose something I hold dear. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked if I could somehow get uncircumcised so I could add an inch to my length. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my new girlfriend. I guess she'd never been with an uncircumcised man before, because before I knew it I had a frenulum tear and had to go to the ER. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML
Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Today, my dad thought it appropriate to ask if my boyfriend, who was in the other room, was circumcised. FML
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Top comments
Bloo2555 22
If she's so concerned with the shape of your penis rather than who you are as a person, I don't think it's worth staying in a relationship with her.
Donut_Wizard 23
What a coincidence. I happen to know if someone else who’s girlfriend wants him to get his foreskin back.
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Comments (16)
Bloo2555 22
If she's so concerned with the shape of your penis rather than who you are as a person, I don't think it's worth staying in a relationship with her.
Donut_Wizard 23
What a coincidence. I happen to know if someone else who’s girlfriend wants him to get his foreskin back.
Allie614032 34
Dump her.
damo222 12
well said
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
pictures ? ... For medical purposes lol
RichardPencil 32
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Maybe stop using flesh-toned condoms?
5th_point_of_contact 8
I’m wondering if you’re the same dude that posted something similar a while. So either this is a hoax or you maybe you should be consulting a doc instead of fml.
dexter420 21
Thats gonna hurt
Tim Grier 1
Ask her if she's willing to undergo female circumcision, if it's such a big deal to her. Good for the goose, good for the gander
PhoenixChick 26
except that they aren't remotely equivalent procedures
skippydoda 32
except that male circumcision isn't medically necessary. If we don't circumcise females we shouldn't circumcise males.
boopingsnoot 25
Not funny. "Female circumcision" involves cutting out the ******** and generally making it impossible for a woman to enjoy sex. Sometimes with everything that's left being sewn closed until marriage.
Dave_Davington 34
Funny how slicing up someone's genitals seems so utterly barbaric when it's not ingrained in your culture. Also, there is a version of female circumcision that just involves removing the clitoral hood, so yes it certainly can be equivalent to male circumcision.
onceuponatime456 16
Explain to her that is she wants to mutilate herself, feel free, but she can go **** herself if she thinks you will mutilate yourself!
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
Looks like she's given this some forethought.