Today, my younger brother, who still lives in our parents' basement and has never held a job in his life, announced that his girlfriend is pregnant with their third child. I'm a college graduate living on my own and I've never even had sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife and I have been trying for kids for years and nothing, yet my deadbeat brother just ran out on his third pregnant girlfriend in a row, with no intention of meeting the baby ever. FML
Today, I realized how absolutely shitty my family is when my brother brought home his third girlfriend this week. They all smiled in her face, knowing full well my brother is a cheating asshole. Not to mention, she’s pregnant with his kid. I wasn’t allowed to date til I moved out. FML
Today, my siblings came home for the weekend. At dinner, my dad started complaining at how one of my siblings had gotten fired, one was failing college, and the other was gay. He went on to say I was 17 and already had a bright future. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, in front of my family, my brother's wife announced that she was pregnant with their first child. Everyone joked around and said I was next. Two weeks ago I found out that I'm sterile. FML
Today, I found out my no-work-experience brother has just accepted a 50k/year job. He is still in school and has never had a job. I work as an intern for 11 hours a day, get rude emails from my boss, and have 3 degrees and 5 years work experience. FML
Today, I found out my brother doesn't have a problem with "keeping it in the family". It's now up to me to explain why our cousin is pregnant with his kid. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of four years. She took the opportunity to tell me that she's pregnant. With my half-brother. FML
Today, my boyfriend's 16-year-old daughter got a job. I'm 29, with a Master's degree and I'm still unemployed. FML
Today, my brother's girlfriend dumped him. I overheard my mom tell him "It could be worse. Your brother can't even get a girlfriend". FML
Today, despite the fact that I own my home, car and have a career, I was once again told that I’ve shamed my family by being a single mom. Meanwhile, my brother has four kids with three different women and constantly hits up every family member for money. He gets nothing but just support. FML
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Top comments
thehaystackerine 20
Sounds like you got your life in order though. That's worth something.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Those poor children.
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Comments (32)
JasonThorn 23
"Next, on ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT..."
thehaystackerine 20
Sounds like you got your life in order though. That's worth something.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Those poor children.
bluhbluhbluh 14
That's probably the main reason why you don't have your third child as well.
Glowworm56 27
So do the kids get to fight over who gets to inherit the basement when they grow up?
RichardPencil 32
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Are you fugly? Don’t envy your brother — that’s a very ugly personality trait. Lighten up, and you might get laid eventually.
kskjon 12
I don't see how this is a FML
mayaklast 12
If I had to chose between your life and your brother's, I'd chose yours anytime. There is still plenty of time for you to meet someone, while he can never take those poor life changing decisions back. Still, your parents have a lot more patience than I do ^^'
tmj25789 23
at least you have the right head in success.
Mungolikecandy 19
Maybe you should socialize a little more?