The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Sounds more like a "you" problem

By Anonymous - 15/08/2021 08:01

Today, I was hanging out with friends of the opposite sex, which is the norm for me as I don’t get along with most women. Every time I spoke, I got ignored or spoken over, and they kept asking me what was wrong. Ugh, men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 1 186

No future

By Anonymous - 27/07/2023 00:02

Today, I had no idea my girlfriend had such a poor sense of humour until I pranked her by hiding a plastic spider in the kitchen, and she broke up with me and asked me to move out. She’s not even arachnophobic, so I don’t get her extreme reaction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 964

Bigmouth Strikes Again

By Bobbi Fett - 31/01/2022 23:00

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend to stand up for himself more often. He now takes very hard stances on his desire for anal sex and his love for the Star Wars Disney+ series. I should’ve kept my big mouth shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 1 426

By Louis - 28/02/2017 17:34 - France - Paris

Here's the first FML Video created by Louis, who will creating many more in the weeks (months, years...) to come!

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 103

Little wins matter

By Anonymous - 22/12/2020 14:06

Today, after our Christmas plans got cancelled because of COVID, to make ourselves feel better we made travel plans somewhere else, which also turned into a red zone the night before our departure, we are now going out for breakfast as our highlight of the year. Thankfully they are open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 1 198

What happened?

By ....ew - 05/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 149

It Begins

By FML Videos - 28/08/2018 19:30

Just a friendly reminder... School is back!

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 113

Pity party cancelled

By Anonymous - 02/04/2023 04:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, and every single time someone I actually feel comfortable with comes into my life, I end up fucking everything up. Whenever they don't reply, I won't for a while too, just to see if they'll check on me but they never do. Am I really that shitty? Is it so bad that I want to feel wanted? FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 657

What's the ******* truth?

By Tourettes? - 19/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, I found out three things: One, I was apparently diagnosed with Tourette's as a child. Two, my parents apparently told everyone about it, and had no idea that I didn't know about this. Three, that the diagnosis is possibly incorrect. I'm in for quite the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 65

Weather report

By Anonymous - 29/10/2023 13:00 - South Africa - Durbanville

Today, it's raining. I got up at 4:30 to be ready to start tiling a patio floor, which will take three days. The difficult customer wants it done in three days. How do I tile outside in the pouring rain? FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 47

You, your sex is on fire

By Anonymous - 26/08/2022 18:00

Spicy

Today, I mixed drunkenness with sensual oils, a lot of whiskey, a massage, and scented candles, which resulted in accidentally setting my husband's back hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 1 134

Struggling Through Life

By FML Approved - 05/09/2017 03:30

He's trying so hard. Bless his heart.

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 253

The old bait and switch

By Duped - 27/08/2021 14:01

Today, I bought a Playstation 5 on OfferUp. Upon taking the PS5 home, I opened the box and in its place were some dirty old shoes. The seller had also erased all her info from her OfferUp account and replies an obviously fake, "Automatic: The user is no longer available" message when I try to reach her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 1 086

The policy of truth

By Anonymous - 02/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I'm ending a 35 year marriage. In the last few months, my husband has told me that he has been preferring porn to me since before we were married, he has had multiple affairs, he always knew his family was toxic and messing with me. Oh, and he wants us to, "Move on and have a happy retirement together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 127

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 22/01/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I'd finally got home from a 15-hour shift at work and wanted to lay down and eat. I poured myself a bowl of cereal, went to my room, and sat it on my bed. My dog then jumped right on my bed and yanked the sheets off, causing the cereal to fly everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 229

By Inod - 07/07/2009 14:31 - United States

Today, I finally got a Wii Fit to try and lose some weight. I came home and set it all up, only to be told that I weigh too much to actually use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 88

Inod tells us more.

Inod 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 1:19

I'm the OP, decided to make an account... Reason I put on so much weight is cause I had a car run up my leg by a 16 year old bitch who was too busy chatting on her phone to even notice she hit me. So after my broken foot, ankle, and leg "healed", I got to go through the process of starting rehab on all the torn stuff in my ankle. 18 months later, I can walk again with only a slight limp. Yay! Believe me, I'd love to be able to go out for a walk or hit the gym but some days (rainy days especally) going from bed to the bathroom is a chore and any kind of incline or decline hurts still. And I didn't know I was over 330 when I got to the store (got a scale too, 334... what a bitch, huh?) so that was a huge shock. Obviously I know I was overweight, but not this bad. Thanks to like the 10 people with kind words... the rest of you enjoy your summer, high school starts back up in about 8 weeks.

How to deal with annoying neighbors...

By FML Approved - 29/09/2017 03:00

A fun solution from your friends at FML!

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 132

Where is my mind?

By Holy fuck - 01/04/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I had a horrific nightmare where I was lost in the woods and got mauled to death by a hungry wolf. I fully blacked out in the dream before waking up in real life, at 3AM, where I found that my room was pitch black because I forgot to open the curtains. I genuinely thought I was dead for about five seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 123

Under the hood

By Anonymous - 03/04/2022 12:00

Today, I blanked and forgot to take out my piercing before going for my MRI, even though the nurses asked me multiple times to make sure I had no metal on me before entering, you know, the big machine made of massive electromagnets. The piercing was on my clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 1 656

Pushover

By WhyEven - 06/03/2022 17:00 - United States - Kula

Spicy

Today, I was seriously angry with my husband and was making valid arguments as to why he was wrong. He just started kissing me, and we ended up having sex. He knows how to win every argument, and I fall for it everytime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 2 172

Life ain't a movie, son

By Effwmn - 20/12/2022 09:00

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams, the girl I've loved for 3 years. I went to her desk and surprised her with roses, chocolates, and played “All I Want for Christmas is You.” She said no. On top of that, she ate all the chocolates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 1 235

Crybabies

By PooperParty - 05/04/2021 11:00

Today, I had an Easter Egg Hunt in my backyard for my kids. When they collected all the eggs, they opened them and to their dismay there was no candy inside. When I bought them, I thought they already came with candy. It’s been two hours and my kids won’t stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 1 762

Lost

By directionally challenged - 18/04/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, the employee entrance to my workplace was moved. Not only will no one tell me where it is, they all insist it wasn’t moved. There’s literally a sign on the door that says the entrance has been moved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 82

Strung out

By Anonymous - 22/01/2023 16:30 - Australia

Today, I realised just how caffeine dependent I am. I didn't have time for my morning coffee, work is out of milk, and I only have $1.30 in my bank account, so I couldn't buy a coffee. Today has been a struggle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 616

His place or your place?

By Anonymous - 10/11/2023 04:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend has covered his windows in heavy-duty garbage bags, all the while complaining that his apartment has no view. In our old place, which did have a view, he always kept the blinds closed and never opened the windows more than 2 centimeters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 99

Do not attempt this at home

By PetiteLover - 28/12/2022 21:00

Spicy

Today, I’m dating a petite girl, and I've had fantasies of picking her up and fucking her in midair. I attempted to try this fantasy last night. I'm now in the hospital with broken and bruised ribs and tailbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 1 597

Confusing

By so confused - 09/12/2023 15:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 202

And I Oop

By Anonymous - 15/01/2021 23:01

Today, my mom was screaming and throwing things at me and I didn’t know why. Then I checked the date. Her birthday was yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 1 275

AirPlop

By Fred666 - 02/12/2023 16:00 - Canada

Today, I sneezed while wearing wireless earbuds. The force of the sneeze catapulted one earbud across the room, where it landed perfectly in a cup of coffee. My coffee now plays podcasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 115

AAaaaaaah!

By Anonymous - 23/02/2023 16:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Spicy

Today, I finally got to see my girlfriend's mouth open with pleasure… while she was scratching a bug bite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 719

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my dad, who never supported us growing up, and who calls once a month to collect his monthly living expenses, gave me an ultimatum: either buy him a plane ticket so that he can come live with me forever (he's a raging alcoholic) OR to send him $4,500 US Dollars (which where he lives is someone's 6 month salary). FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 102

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 720

You deserved it 4 756

The Top

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 834

You deserved it 3 484

Today, I couldn’t sleep because the hall light was too bright. Someone left their room; I waited for them to return so we wouldn’t cross paths. I got up and went for the light, only to find them peeing naked with the door open. In a panic I flipped any switch, which made the hall brighter, then ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 110

Today, I miss what it’s like to be in college. I didn’t know life after graduation was so empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 209

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 947

You deserved it 6 894

Today, my son confessed to me that the reason he'd rather die single is because my husband and I are so toxic to each other, as we end up arguing over even petty things, yet we still refuse to divorce after 30 years. Therefore, we're to blame for "leaving him traumatized and terrified of marrying". He is 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 2 093

Today, I was sitting on a rather small, uncomfortable bean bag while my friend was sitting on a nice chair. She asked if I wanted to switch seats, not so I could be more comfortable, but because she thought I was too fat and that I would burst the bean bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 301

You deserved it 5 104