Sounds like soon to be ex is seriously in denial and/or trying to use this to hang onto you… Divorce is never easy no matter if you are the one initiating it or not. And it’s more difficult and messy when children are involved - especially with preteens and young teens. Little children adjust more quickly and older children are often on their way to establishing their independence and their own identity. It just gets more difficult when one or both start using the kids to try to punish their ex or try to force them to do what they expect. That’s a terrible thing to do to children. No matter what the ex does, don’t stoop to that level. I always figured that in the long run children grow up and come to see that their parents are the people they saw them to be and not the person the ex claimed they were. But that can be tough to deal with at the time… OP, if you have the budget for it and you decide to still go on the planned vacation, be sure to have your own room not a shared one with soon to be ex - Shared rooms could be a disaster... But canceling the vacation and promising a different, hopefully less expensive vacation in the near future is a very reasonable alternative. The truth is that there will be financial adjustments that have to be made - Suddenly having two households, child support, and legal expenses can be a tough time financially. And there is a foolish tendency to try to buy the kids “love” with gifts and more - Which helps no one in the long run.

its for the kids, its not their fault!