Animals, Cats, Painful and Birds: Flash, ah ah!

Flash, ah ah!

By Dumb, Dumber, and Dumberer - 12/10/2022 20:00

Today, a bird ran into my window. My overzealous cat ran at it like the Flash and smashed his face in the window. He yelped and ran away, then as I was running to see if he was OK, I slammed my face in the door jamb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 257

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Same thing different taste

By Mr.P - 21/10/2011 15:35 - United States

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 220

You deserved it 3 255

By TehUglyLife - 29/07/2013 19:11 - United States - Jacksonville Beach

Today, I tried to help a bird who had broken his wing. I walked straight into a door while looking down at him in my hands, and ended up all but breaking his other wing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 902

You deserved it 14 165

By Olive14 - 15/12/2010 06:15

Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 078

You deserved it 7 339

By margretlle - 26/04/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 736

You deserved it 8 408

By Anonymous - 31/07/2014 17:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my cat tried to jump up to the window, and missed. This would have been hilarious if I had not been sleeping under that same window, and then caught him with my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 653

You deserved it 4 793

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 888

You deserved it 3 632

By How? - 29/09/2018 10:30 - United States - Glasford

Today, a bird crashed into my face. I didn't think that actually happened to people outside of cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 015

You deserved it 206

By Anonymous - 01/08/2009 04:32 - United States

Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 793

You deserved it 3 470

By ByeByeBirdie - 29/06/2016 22:41 - United States - Montgomery

Today, I'd had enough of the annoying bird constantly singing in the shrillest bird voice possible outside of my window, so I chased it around the yard, shooing it away, as my cat sat there and watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 740

You deserved it 1 809

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 290

BurnInDemonFire 33

Thursday 13 October 2022 0:03

This week, on The Three Stooges: Reincarnated...

poopface82 18

Thursday 13 October 2022 1:09

It’s as if a scary movie and a 90s era sketch comedy troupe collided.

Comments

JasonThorn 19

Wednesday 12 October 2022 20:08

I think the one providing the title confused the Flash with Flash Gordon. Still...OW...

Marcella1016 31

Wednesday 12 October 2022 22:25

Damn it now I have to go listen to that song. I actually ******* love it so thank you lol

BurnInDemonFire 33

Thursday 13 October 2022 0:03

This week, on The Three Stooges: Reincarnated...

poopface82 18

Thursday 13 October 2022 1:09

It’s as if a scary movie and a 90s era sketch comedy troupe collided.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 13 October 2022 3:04

Is this the one where a guardian angel bashes into the house and dents his halo?

Keywords

Public freakouts Health Relatable Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Cops Transportation Bikes Fight Family Kids AITA Mother in law Miscellaneous Relationship advice Love Social Media Art Work Students Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication

The Top

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 789

You deserved it 16 307

Today, I'm a graduate of a wealthy public school in So Cal. It astonishes me how many of my classmates don’t see a problem with today’s politicians, or gas, rent, and food prices. I was given shelter but had to earn everything I had growing up. I knew I wasn’t crazy though they acted like I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 97

The Top

Today, I still can't find a job to support myself. The only experience I have is a month in retail and a summer spent in a kitchen de-pooping shrimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 744

You deserved it 4 112

Today, I went to the restaurant I recently got a job at, to take the introductory three hour training course. Afterwards, I was told I wasn't hired after all. Why? The girl I was replacing suddenly decided she didn't want to move away and quit after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 081

You deserved it 1 741

Today, I went to the supermarket; it was taking me ages to walk home because of the heavy food bags. Halfway home, I realised I had gone in my car. I had to walk all the way back to get my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 569

You deserved it 58 686

Today, as I was getting dressed for my big date, my cat pooped on my only shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 921

You deserved it 752

Today, it's been weeks since my teenage kids have walked the dog I got them; they also don’t play with it, pay it any attention, or feed it. It’s all been me, so since I never wanted it in the first place, I gave it to a friend of my mom's. My kids now think I’m the devil and my husband says I overreacted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 410

Today, I was looking forward to languishing on the beach for a few days of a “much needed vacation” when I literally got called back into work on my way to the beach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 134

Flash, ah ah!

Same thing different taste

I don't know my strength

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