Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

3051628

Online | Search for a member

3051628

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 November 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8948
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About 3051628 : I suppose I can write a bit about myself. First off, my username has no true significance to it, it's an old number that I used to use for grade school. I've been on FML for a while now, it's one of my most favorite websites of all time. It's safe to say I've visited it nearly every day since happening upon it on a crappy day I was having. I'm a pretty laid back guy; I love listening to music, relaxing, and going on long walks alone. I'm currently studying at penn state to become a meteorologist. Also, while I'm not heavily into anime (or watching television often) some of my favorite shows happen to be anime. Some of them are Fullmetal Alchemist (2003 and Brotherhood), Yu Yu Hakusho Cowboy Bebop, and Samurai Champloo. My favorite color is blue and I have a deep appreciation for honesty and trustworthiness.
There, I guess that's enough

3051628's page activity

Visits<b>ApologyKick</b> - 13 hours ago<b>kAPISH</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 8:39pm<b>Kyle1dc</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:44am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 3:37pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 8:52am<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 6:46pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 6:47am<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 6:09pm<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 11:27pm<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 4:27pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 11:43am<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 12:51am<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:19pm<b>BookNerd_123</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 5:12pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:56pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:15pm<b>chrisbreastr0kr</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 12:31pm

3051628's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of 3051628's badges

3051628's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
203 comments

Today, my parents told me they'd be willing to pay for me to get a nose job. I asked them what was wrong with my nose, and they said nothing, it's just not the kind of nose they'd prefer to feature in our Christmas photos. FML

#20976009
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38090) - you deserved it (2248)

On 11/30/2013 at 5:46pm - misc - by UglyFace (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML

#20975896
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54609) - you deserved it (4941)

On 11/30/2013 at 3:29pm - love - by fuckface? I wish (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML

#20975844
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45419) - you deserved it (6458)

On 11/30/2013 at 2:21pm - money - by yulis (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I saw my long-distance boyfriend for the first time in 8 months. He dumped me on the spot because I was "uglier" than he remembered. FML

#20972385
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59228) - you deserved it (8925)

On 11/27/2013 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

#20972130
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41653) - you deserved it (2663)

On 11/27/2013 at 2:08am - animals - by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat - United States

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41770) - you deserved it (5193)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59454) - you deserved it (4297)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

#20965814
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43408) - you deserved it (2917)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm - animals - by thatsnotacat - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

#20965644
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55800) - you deserved it (12469)

On 11/21/2013 at 11:10am - misc - by smooth (man) - United States

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25658) - you deserved it (63566)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML

#20961862
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37183) - you deserved it (3243)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14am - kids - by kids next door - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to storm out of the room during an argument, but walked face-first into our closed sliding glass door. My boyfriend laughed so hard that he had to sit down. Later, we noticed the nose mark I left. He won't let me clean it, because he wants to show it to everyone. FML

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

#20959118
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44555) - you deserved it (4301)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm - kids - by I don't know, son (man) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: