Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

by YOURMOM / 12/31/2011 at 2:24am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

by Anonymoose / 12/25/2011 at 6:39am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Animals

Today, my brother and I drove 3 hours to pick up our puppy. The woman we bought him from said not to put him in the cage for the ride home as he would pee for sure. She recommended I put him on my lap. Not only did he shit on the seat backing out of her driveway, he pissed on me an hour later. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2011 at 3:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I ran full speed into a brick wall because I saw a tiger. On the other side of a zoo cage. FML

by steve / 12/22/2011 at 10:02pm / United States / Animals

Today, our dog peed on nearly all the wrapped gifts under our Christmas tree. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that I can no longer sleep over at his house because his cat doesn't like it. FML

by kaipodable / 12/21/2011 at 8:41pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

by dogh8er / 12/18/2011 at 2:31pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML

by sammyxoxo / 12/18/2011 at 3:32am / Canada / Animals

Today, my cat vomited violently. I can smell it but I can't find it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2011 at 4:49pm / Australia (South Australia) / Animals

Today, my dad took me to the 'Super Butcher'. It's basically a warehouse turned into a giant, walk-in meat freezer, complete with headless pig carcasses. I'm a vegetarian. FML

Today, my roomate's cats pooped on the floor again. He refuses to clean it up saying it will be easier to clean in 48 hours. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 1:57am / United States / Animals

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I received a few new fish for my aquarium as presents for my birthday. It just so happened that these fish were carrying diseases that left me with a tank full of dead fish. Happy birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 12/02/2011 at 1:36am / United States (New York) / Animals