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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I returned home to find that my boyfriend's dog had gotten into the garbage and ripped all my used pads to shreds. There's a trail of Always tatters leading to his dog bed, and blood everywhere. My blood. Oh God. FML

#8435501
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31717) - you deserved it (3066)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:24am - animals - by OMGraven (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

#8434692
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30102) - you deserved it (2087)

On 02/19/2010 at 2:38am - animals - by somuchforthat (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I noticed my house smells a lot like my grandma's. Not because we use the same cleaning products or anything like that, but because I'm slowly turning into a crazy cat lady. FML

#8420953
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7210) - you deserved it (20338)

On 02/18/2010 at 9:20pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a black cat crossed in front of my truck and I thought to myself that it was funny people believe black cats bring bad luck. Not even two minutes later, I drove my truck into a ditch. FML

#8338090
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18827) - you deserved it (9226)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:56pm - animals - by matiasbarbero - United States

Today, like all days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice; but today he decided to bring this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family 'brave' enough to go fetch our cat's gift. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML

#8309732
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22258) - you deserved it (2541)

On 02/15/2010 at 7:08pm - animals - by Mary (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I received my first Valentine's day present ever: a dead mouse from my cat. FML

#8241571
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20717) - you deserved it (3218)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:24am - animals - by lex31 - United States

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37299) - you deserved it (3314)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I put my hamster in his ball, and spent about an hour cleaning his cage. When I came back, I realized he wasn't even alive. FML

#8189417
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22114) - you deserved it (6493)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:04am - animals - by Chris - United States (California)

Today, I was in class and noticed that it smelled strongly of cat urine. I smelled my shoulder and realized that my cat had peed on my sweater. I had six hours of classes left, and the smell had permeated my shirt. FML

#8094791
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20337) - you deserved it (5283)

On 02/10/2010 at 4:19pm - animals - by snickerdoodles (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I received multiple phone calls asking how much my Siamese cat cost. Too bad I never had a Siamese cat - let alone a Siamese cat up for sale. Turns out the guy I prank phone called the other day didn't appreciate it and put my number on Craigslist with an add for a Siamese cat. FML

#8078249
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4487) - you deserved it (50863)

On 02/10/2010 at 1:39am - animals - by AUDONEE (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24675) - you deserved it (5213)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

#7932396
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24978) - you deserved it (12864)

On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

#7925125
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30400) - you deserved it (3032)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:27am - animals - by btg - United States (California)



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