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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was asked by my mom if I could have a joint-birthday party with her dog because it would be the dog's "big 1-0." She was completely serious. FML

#6822450
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21190) - you deserved it (2075)

On 12/19/2009 at 1:20am - animals - by dog_day (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was eating lunch out side with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

#6795519
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29380) - you deserved it (2443)

On 12/17/2009 at 4:43pm - animals - by ollierocks96 - United States (Florida)

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

#6793560
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11336) - you deserved it (22278)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by ohmy (woman) - Canada

Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

#6791199
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21083) - you deserved it (4814)

On 12/17/2009 at 9:32am - animals - by gettingacat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML

#6789867
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7897) - you deserved it (37049)

On 12/17/2009 at 4:58am - animals - by AnRom (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

#6787921
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24361) - you deserved it (3807)

On 12/17/2009 at 1:09am - animals - by life_suxxx - United States (Mississippi)

Today, it looked like rain so I held out my hand to catch a raindrop. When I finally caught one, I closed my hand over it and ran to show my friends to prove it was raining. I opened my hand saying, "Look! It's raining!" When I looked down, I saw that I had actually caught a bird shit. FML

#6779771
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9471) - you deserved it (26963)

On 12/16/2009 at 4:11pm - animals - by smellyhand (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, it hit me that my dad didn't cry when I moved out, he did so only when I came back later to pick up my cat. FML

#6761317
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19582) - you deserved it (2105)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:50am - animals - by number2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother thought it would be okay to take my camera and erase all of my pictures that included my graduation, party, and my sisters wedding. Her excuse? "We need more room for Katie's birthday." Katie is our pet cat. FML

#6721090
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28471) - you deserved it (3243)

On 12/12/2009 at 10:41am - animals - by Kelsie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice and we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML

#6706699
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22880) - you deserved it (3052)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

#6691654
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23706) - you deserved it (4378)

On 12/10/2009 at 6:47am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, my dog received a christmas card before I did. FML

#6678775
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24217) - you deserved it (2725)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:33am - animals - by amywee (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML

#6674325
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9162) - you deserved it (18503)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:07am - animals - by poohead (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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